Smart Person: "are you kidding!? when someone was after Sookie Stackhouse's man, she choked him with a chain!"
True Blooder: She jumped off a cliff - um, hello, suicide attempt anyone? - then sat in a chair for three months staring out the window wearing the same outfit because her boyfriend wasn't around to act all emo and depressed. Plus, if she wasn't stuttering and falling around behind Edward, she was giving Jacob a hard time by crashing on a motorcycle and threatening her life. Yeah, she's self-assured. Sookie Stackhouse never thinks about killing herself or sitting in a chair stinking up the whole place or falling over microscopic rocks.
Twi-hard: But Edward is sooo hot!
True Blooder: His chest is pale and disgustingly hairy. Plus he acts like he cuts his wrists in his spare time. Bill is smexy and doesn't act all emo.
Random person to Twi-hard: IN YO FACE!