| 8. | Utahism | ||
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Call me Ishmael. Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off- then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.
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There now is your insular city of the Manhattoes, belted round by wharves as Indian isles by coral reefs- commerce surrounds it with her surf. Right and left, the streets take you waterward. Its extreme downtown is the battery, where that noble mole is washed by waves, and cooled by breezes, which a few hours previous were out of sight of land. Look at the crowds of water-gazers t... |
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| 9. | ninja | ||
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Ninja were people of feudal japan trained in Ninpo or Ninjutsu. It was possible to use skills learned in assasination-which was done, but not coldly. Ninja's were japans peace keepers and information gathers-they would assasinate political powers that threatned peace of japan, and would often be recruited by a higher power (such as a warlord like Oda Nobunaga, or Ieyasu Tokugawa) to spy on enemy's and gather information. Ninja were originally called *Shinobi*, literally translating into a expert at information gathering. Ninja groups were divided into families and clans. The two regions were Ninjutsu developed and Ninja were founded were Iga and Koga provinces. there were roughly 53 subgroups of Koga and Iga. One of the most famous Ninja in history was Hattori Hanzo-a famous warlord and Ninja of Iga.
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Random facts: In 1676, the book Bansenshukai about Ninja methods was written by Fujibayashi Yasutake, a Samurai of Iga castle. In 1681 the book Shoninki (correct Ninjutsu memories) was written by Fujibayashi Masatake. In 1653 the book Ninpiden meaning secret teachings of Ninjutsu was written by Hattori Hanzo Yasunaga. There were very few ninja-when oda nobunaga attacked Iga, 80 ninja fled. Genbukan and Bujinkan are the only organizations keeping true Ninjutsu alive today. Ninja didnt wear black very often-they wore deep red or dark green when on missions, and in winter snow, White. Ninja were often Samurai too-afterall its only Title, not material. Ninja didnt... |
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| 10. | Fruitbooting | ||
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Fruitbooting (or Fruit Booting, noun use is "Fruitbooter"), a slang term refering to the use of skiblades/snowblades. Fruitbooting, the use of skiblades on ski slopes, is typically looked down upon by the snowboarding community. Fruitbooting also refers to tricks or stunts conducted while wearing skiblades/snowblades. The term is also interchangeably used to describe homosexual connotations with less popular sporting activities which utilize unusual or unpopular foot gear for snow or wheeled (i.e. roller blades, skates) sporting activities. Fruitbooting is so lame. That guy needs to get himself a proper snowboard.
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| 11. | Dead Baby Joke | ||
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Jokes aimed at babies of the living and non-living nature. These are highly offensive, very crass, and horribly lewd. Which is why evryone loves them. Dead Baby Jokes:
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Q: What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties. Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool? A: The same baby three weeks later. Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? A: Floaties with a slashed baby. ---------- Q: What's red and sits in a highchair convulsing? A: A baby eating razor-blades. ---------- Q: What is red and white and squirms in the corner? A: Dead Baby playing with razor blades. Q: What is red, white and green and sits in a corner? A: Same baby 3 weeks later. Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A baby playing in a plastic bag. Q: What's blue and sits in the corner? A1: Baby in a cellophane bag. Q: What is green and sits in the corner? A: Same dead baby two weeks later! ---------- Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of baby. (If on a diet use only one scoop) A2: Add 8 ounces of Pepsi with 2 scoops of dead baby. A3: Take your foot off its head. Q: And where did you get these babies? A: Abortion Clinic. ---------- Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass before it explodes? A: A baby in the microwave. Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds? A: Dead baby in a carousel microwave! Q: What's blue and knocks on glass? A: A baby in a fishtank ---------- Q: What is charred black and smells really bad... |
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| 12. | trashvertising | ||
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The act of advertising by leaving printed promotional materials where someone will have remove it and/or throw it away to go about their daily business. Fliers on door handles, fliers on car windshields, "sample" newspapers in the driveway. These items often end up in the parking lot, street, etc. as people typically just throw them somewhere to get them out of the way. <winter time>
Neighbor 1: "Watcha doing?" Neighbor 2: "Fixing my snow blower. Blades are jammed." *grunts* Neighbor 1: "From what?" Neighbor 2: (pulls out a mangled wad of paper) "That stupid ad-covered newspaper thingy." Neighbor 1: "Salty. You get the daily paper?." Neighbor 2: "No. It's just a bunch of ads they give out...try and get you to subscribe. They throw them all over the neighborhood." Neighbor 1: "What dicks." Neighbor 2: "Yeah...I hate the Plain Dealer and their trashvertising. It's gonna cost me $50 to have this thing fixed." |
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| 13. | Cooper Road | ||
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A stretch of road in Westerville, OH running from Route 3C to Cleveland Avenue. Long thought to be the most dangerous stretch of road in all the known world, Cooper Road is purportedly used as the authority for determining snow days for Westerville Schools. Young males are expected to travel Cooper Road wearing only a pair of roller blades and a ball cap as a right of passage into Westervillian society. Also known as the Devil's Backbone. Cooper Road?! Christ-On-His-Throne NO! Nobody goes down that road!
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