First, dial your drug dealer. Buy an eight ball of cocaine. Now. Travel to a house party and quickly chug eight beers wile staring intimidatingly at the guy next to you. Begin searching the household for the first girl who has to fart. Direct her into your friends bedroom. Tell her to lie on her face, pull her pants down, and to not scream as you sprinkle cocaine in and around her balloon knot like she was a funnel cake. Directing her to hold her flatulent in until further instruction, place your left nostril over the dusted starfish. Loudly and confidently demand she release her gas on the count of three. Upon feeling the anal spincter release tone, inhale through your nose. You just snortched that shit.
"What the fuck? Did you just snortch that cocaine out of my asshole?"
"Bitch, what the fuck you eatin'. That snortch tasted like turpentine."