When having to deficate really bad, have your lover press their tongue between your butt cheeks, then trying to see how many times you can release and pull in the turd before pinching it off in their mouth.
Last night i snapped my turtle 11 times before i pinched it off in tiffany's mouth.
Greg: i just got dumped by my girl
Tony: what for?
Greg: i accidentally played the snapping turtle game when i had diarrhea, i totally shat all over her face.
Tony: That sucks a fat one dude.