"Just got my fifth shoe compliment from a woman with dreadlocks, a half-shaved head and lots of facial piercings. How cool is that? My range of audience for shoe compliments - same shoes by the way - is pretty damn broad now. And yes, I am incredibly shallow. More than you could ever know."
Cell phone user: Whoa, my phone is blowing up!
Friend: Who is it?
Cell Phone User: Aw, never mind, it's just another SMeSsay from Jesse again - he thinks he's so cool with that new iPhone!
Friend: Do I sense a tinge of jealousy, or has the the cramp from T9 texting made you a little cranky?