Top Definition
A fecalphobic response to the necessity of having to wipe one's own uptarded ass whereby said swine mummifies his/her hoof with a crapper clogging amount of old growth toilet paper in a daily All-American celebration of excess and waste.
That shitphobic corporate pig, Dick Cheney, nuked my crapper, then clogged it with his uptarded shitmitt.
by mrwhiipl February 11, 2004
Once you have used the restroom to defecate, you proceed to leave the facilities without washing your hands. (also known in Canada as "Shanz". )
Co worker 1: Hey, I just saw Mark coming out of the stall after throwing mud, and he didn't wash his hands before going to his office.

Co-worker 2: Oh no, I just shook Mark's hand.

Co-worker 1: :Damn, he just got you with his shit mitts.
by The Hankys January 08, 2013
The grime you get on your hand when fisting someone in the pipe. Warning: Failure to wash within 4 hours could result in the "Candy-Coated Shit-Mitt"
I got a Shit-Mitt from Steve's wife.
by Kal-El March 05, 2004
To not wash your hands after wiping your ass.
I just watched the boss leave the bathroom without washing his hands. Do not lend him your pen - he has shit mitts!
by The Psychologist February 15, 2007
A hand thats been up someones arse.Sometimes covered with fecal matter. Hence, the name shit-mitt.
Yo i gave Daves mom a fist in the ass. She gave me a serious shit-mitt.
by Bobby Cumbucket May 13, 2006
The process of wrapping your hand in multiple layers of toilet paper preventing fecal contamination.
I always use a shit mitt when dropping deuce in a public restroom.
by ChipScar July 22, 2010
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