One of the 53% of touchscreen smartphone
s in use whose displays are spiderwebbed with cracks from being clumsily dropped or, in the case of pre-2011 iPhone
s, hurled across the room due to AT&T rage
Hipster 1: Hey, how do we get to Urban Outfitters
Hipster 2: Let me check my shatterphone.
Hipster 2: Ow! Owow! Ow! Ow!
Hipster 2: Uh, we go down the street and turn left at the blood smear.
Hipster 1: Deck.