Stakeholders 

A term widely used in the corporate environment usually by management or workers aspiring to be managers without any intelligence or sense of how stupid they sound.

Stakeholders is a term that usually accompanies other corporate buzz words such as "bandwidth', "paradigm", and "circle back". You generally will not hear words like "stakeholder" in social situations outside of work, yet for some reason, people feel compelled to use them at work just to increase their level of annoyance and stupidity.

Boss: Fred, when you get some bandwidth this morning, lets circle back and address the stakeholders of this project.

Fred: Shut the fuck up and quit acting like an idiot.

Boss: We must address the paradigm of your work ethic.

Stakeholders by Mr Hi October 3, 2011

emotional shareholder 

Someone that is devoted to their sports team. They are sad when the team losses, happy when they win. Their mood depends on their team's status.

Nicole: We made it to the playoffs!! Hopefully we can make it to the World Series!

Josh: I hate people that refer to their sports team as “we.” It’s only appropriate if you are a shareholder.

Nicole: I am a shareholder. I am an emotional shareholder.

Caitlin: Ooh. She got you there, Josh.

emotional shareholder by NicoleLF January 12, 2009

Revenue Shareholder 

A revenue shareholder receives a portion of a company's revenue directly proportionate to the quantity of shares owned; 1% ownership pays 1% of the total net revenue.

The phrased was originally coined by NaturThink when they developed a new kind of business structured around joint ownership with shareholders participating as board members influencing the direction of the company with online votes.

No more greedy executives voting for hefty bonuses and umbrella parachutes

As a revenue shareholder I received 10% of the company's profits.

Revenue Shareholder by intentions101 November 18, 2011

stakeholders analysis 

A process of finding the people who are important and have to say yes to make it work, as well as finding the people who are annoying and will say no to stop it from happening.

Gary: At our next Stakeholders Analysis we have to add Linda as a stakeholder because she is the Director and she gets the final say.
Dave: Ok, we also have to add Rob because he's just going to whine and complain and ruin everything if we don't involve him.

stakeholders analysis by Orzo Nacirema June 22, 2017

scareholder 

A person, holding shares of stock, who is nervous or anxious about losing their money.

Emotionally cannot handle downward market fluctuations in the stock or other financial trading markets.

Man, Gurdeep keeps messaging me every day about this stock! He's not a shareholder he's a scareholder.

Jimmy's going to die of stress #scareholder

scareholder by r2verma January 21, 2021

dominant shareholder

Sam Losco
The dominant shareholder, the big cheese. the king caveman

Barbara lahey: you can't do that!
Sam: if I get 51%, that'd make me the dominant shareholder. you know, the big cheese. the king caveman.

dominant shareholder by packrunnertrainor March 9, 2022

dollar-shareholder 

A shareholder in the American economy, representing ownership of a share. Entitling the holder to a portion of the government's assets and profits, as well as voting rights in government decisions. The economic value is $1 per share.

As a dollar-shareholder in the American economy, each citizen holds a vote through their dollar bills.

dollar-shareholder by my_penis May 25, 2024