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Shake Hands With the President 

verb; to masturbate.

Origins; as far as I know the term exists simply because the hand movement - with the help of a warped imagination - resembles shaking hands. The 'President' part comes about simply because, as many a male will tell you, the penis is the one making the decisions (for the man) in many female-male relationships.
1)Jeez, I wish I was at home shaking hands with the President right now.

2)Nah, I'm pretty bored. I think I might go and shake hands with the President.

3)Wow, there's photos in today's paper of your Dad shaking hands with the President!
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shake hands with Wally

Yo bro, keep your eye on my shit, I gotta go shake hands with Wally.

snakehand 

Created by HM1 Duke, It is done when knifehand no longer has power. It is the most powerful object known to man. When given snake hand you must not run, you must follow all given orders! Chuck Norris has yet to be trained making HM1 the strongest entity in the universe!
HM1 snakehanded me and my kneecaps exploded!!!
snakehand by Paco-My-Taco October 17, 2012

shake hands with the unemployed 

British phrase, meaning male urinating.
"I'll be back in a jiff, I've got to go shake hands with the unemployed."

Shake hands with Mr. Johnson 

To give a handjob to.
To repeatedly stroke a man's penis.
So how far did you go with him Tanya?
Did you shake hands with Mr. Johnson?

shake hands with the French 

unfortunate incident of piercing toilet paper with your middle finger while wiping yo ass
sniff my finger, i had to shake hands with the french

Shake hands with Dick Cheney 

Urination. Particularly by means of a penis.
Hey Bob, save me a spot in that meeting. I have to drop by the bathroom to shake hands with Dick Cheney.