|1.||sex up your arse|
Essentially meaning "great", this playful phrase will make your proclamations of the greatness of something all the better. Can also be used in the abbreviated form, SUYA. There is another variant, sex right up your arse.
Lemon cheescake is sex up your arse.
Lemon cheesecake is SUYA.
best done with a taller man and a shorter womanmore...
The man stands facing the womans back, bends his knee's slightly and sticks his dick up her arse.
He then straightens his legs lifting her tiny lil feet off the ground, slightly remeniscent of Wile Coyote just after he's run off the edge off a cliff and is hanging in the air with legs still running.
the man then uses one hand to set the woman spinning on his dick
1. Wearing a pilots helmet, making helecopter noises with your mouth and pretend you are back in the 90's playing LHX Attack Chopper on your old Sega Meagdrive is optional but may enhance the experience somewhat.
2. It is strongly adviseable NOT to perform this particular sexual position if you were in the Vietnam war as it may cause flashbacks, leading you to crash your female helicopter in to the sofa, apply camoflage makeup and go live in the bush in the back garden for several weeks before finaly emerging and uttering the phrase "You wasnt there man" to random passers by,
3. You will end up with a brown ring on your thing. in fact, if your a white guy, the end of your penis may actualy end up looking like that of a pakistani man due to the colour change, except considerably longer cuz we all know pakistani's have small dicks, or at the very least, it will look like your penis has a sun-tan
|3.||A Clockwork Orange|
A film my parents tried (and failed) to stop me watching.
A book my school libary banned (For language. WTF?.Can we all read Nadsat now?)
Well FUCK YOU!
Clockwork Orange is awesome. (alex is HAWT)
Rage against the machine people!
Sheesh,they'll ban The Catcher in the rye next.
No,WAIT,they have already done that!
Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!
Hi-hi-hi-hi there! Naughty, naughty, naughty. You filthy old soomka.
Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.
Do you know what you can do with that watch? - Stick it up your arse.
Eggiwegs! I would like... to smash them!
I was cured all right
"Can I rent A Clockwork Orange?"
"Err..err...THERE IS NO SUCH BOOK.Err...hear read this nice Harry Potter book.Yeah that's right..HEh..heh?"
"Will you buy me a Clockwork Orange?"
"What no fourteen year old daughter I won't! And,no,I don't care that there is more sex,violence and nudity on channel four every evening...here watch Harry Potter...kill some braincells.."
When you wake up with an enormous stiff on, but fail to utilise it to its full potential, ie. cracking one out. This most often occurs when you are late for work/school, or you are at someone else's house, but why should that stop you? Be late for work or school because you were bashing one off, tell your boss that you were doing that and he will either have enormous respect for you or she will be extremely turned on and you will be able to give her the best office shag with an ending in production ever. NOICE.
The following are examples of what happens if you bash one off, like you should.
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"I was whapping one out this morning and totally lost track of time, turns out i have a lot more stamina than i thought..."
"nice dude! we wouldn't want a morning tragedy on our hands."
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"i was having an enormous wank over your huge tits this morning while i was in the shower, and i took a bit too long..."
"well how about you repay me the time you were late by fucking my arse while i'm bent over this desk?"
"right in the middle of the office in front of everyone?"
"how late was i?"
"a whole 2 minutes."
"i'll never last..."
(30 seconds of savage anal stretching occurs and then ted runs out of gas, blowing his non existent load onto the desk)
"shit man my cock hurts, i just jizzed out a load of air, my tanks are empty."
"what the hell are you doing?!?!"
"i'm sorry but i just cracked one out this morning so i havent exactly recovered."
"shit dude, now i think ill just go home and have a nap, hussey style, yeahhhhh."
|5.||sea food diet|
A type of diet that most fat people adhere to "the see food diet". When they see food they eat it!
This can be very misleading as it sound like quite a healthy low fat diet until you realize that sea doesn't mean sea (water) but seeing.
Gay Fat John: I'm going on the Sea Food Diet Dave!
Gay Dave: Oh John baby I can't wait 'til you lose weight.
Gay Fat John: Oh Dave you silly sausage, I don't mean Sea Food I mean if I see some food I'm going to eat it! It's similar to the see cock diet, but I don't mean cock (male chicken) I mean the other type of cock because I'm a gay boy.
Gay Dave: Ok John but I wish you'd lose some weight I'm sick of sucking you off, your sweat smells like a mixture between cheese and lard.
Gay Fat John: That's because I don't actually have blood anymore it's just a mixture of loads of different fats, cocoa fat, lard, bacon fat, vegetable oil, butter and cheese fat. It's the fat gay blokes way because all these fats and oils makes a good lube for gay butt sex.
Gay Dave: Oh I suppose you're right, you're always lubed up quite well, that must be why. You must save $$$'s on KY Jelly. WELL DONE!
Gay Fat John: Shut up and bang my bum hole!