| 29. | Co-porker | ||
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A co-porker is a female who enjoys sleeping with married men at work. They can hardly be called a co-worker as that would imply that work is being accomplished. Rather, they spend their time porking. Co-porkers are usually trashy and have herpes. "My husband treats his office like most men treat a pick-up bar. He always seems to find the office co-porker within two weeks of beginning a new job."
"Colleen is the office co-porker, go ahead and take a shot at her, the rest of us already have." |
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| 30. | work boyfriend/girlfriend | ||
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Work boyfriend/girlfriend
A colleague — your lunchmate, IM partner, smoking buddy, etc. No sex, though. Platonic. I told my work boyfriend/girlfriend about the slut in accounting making out with three dudes at happy hour. S/he wasn't surprised.
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| 31. | Definition of Sex | ||
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This is what you tell your daughter when she says she's never had sex yet.
"Well Princess, if a man ejaculates in your presence with your permission, consent, or active participation, you just had sex." If your son says something similar the slight variation is "did you ejaculate in the presence of...etc Insertion Exemption: Any consensual insertion of penis or penis like object into a bodily oriface can qualify as sex too. Man: "Honey I'm home from work and stopped at a peep show but don't worry I didn't have sex. I didn't masterbate to completion because I was too drunk from my 5 martini lunch.
Wife: "You What!!!!!!?" Man: "Its OK, Urban Dictionary says the Urban Dictionary says that this doesn't qualify as the Definition of Sex" Alternate Example: Daughter: "I'm still a virgin cause I have my cherry. I only let my boyfriend ass hump me Father: "You are one sick pup, Princess" |
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| 32. | Chet Hunter | ||
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When you're having sex with a woman, you pull out, chug a beer, then leave to go apply for a job as a high school janitor. "Man, I had such a stressful day at work, I had to give Deb the Chet Hunter."
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| 33. | Merrick | ||
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Merrick is a wealthy town on the southshore of Long Island. With extravegent houses in the south, west, and north. It is surrounded by Freeport(ghetto),Roosevelt(ghetto), Uniondale(almost all ghetto), East Meadow (not ghetto), and Bellmore (just plain old trashy but beautiful in parts). It is mostly populated by Jews with a small percentage of Catholics. Therefore the Public Schools are filled with Jappy girls and horny boys. If you visit Merrick all you will find are open house parties along the open bay. Parts of Merrick include South Merrick, Merrick Woods, and North Merrick. And recently the town added those stupid little signs trying to give each section a name for example, "Merrick Lea" but it didn't work. The teens weekends consist of parties at the grammar schools for example drinking at Fayette, smoking at Chatterton, and sex at Birch. Good times in the little South Shore town. Party in Merrick tonight. Oh Yea where? Up at Fayette. But then we'll probally end up on the bay.
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| 34. | s.o.t.b. | ||
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The act of contracting syphilis of the brain from performing oral sex on a woman. This guy at work is afraid of going down on his wife because of s.o.t.b.
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| 35. | cyber sex | ||
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Cyber sex:
more...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK. Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are risin... |
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