To produce a Self Monkey first take the shavings from your shaver in one hand
Manually spank the monkey and shoot your load so it lands on your chin
Slap the shavings on your chin, thus producing soft and downy designer stubble
See Monkey Face
I had such a good wank last night I shot my jizz so far it landed on my chin, I went over to the sink to clean it off but all the trimmings from my shaver spilled out and I ended up with a self monkey to be proud of
The act of rolling a 1-1-2 during a tiebreaker gooch roll. The result being the requirement to wear a tin foil hat while paying and carrying the breakfast order.
Ali lost the tie breaker with a 1-1-2 roll on dice resulting in the dreaded but rare self-monkey. On the way to get breakfast he refused to wear the tin foil hat and subsequently he has banned from playing in the orginal Powerex Gooch Roll and is now forced to play in a substandard game on a lower floor.