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1.
Cross between scrump and crumpet, i.e.- Sex Biscuit. Commonly used in the South by people who live on mountains and have a deep southern drawl, or widely used anywhere you can find both sex and biscuits.
"Man I shore do love your scrumpets Jeeiimmm, they are goo-ood! Howsabout cookin me up a fresh batch of them there scrumpets"
by JoJerrsika May 19, 2008
 
2.
-scrumpcious + crumpets
a scrumpet is simply a delicious or "scrumpcious" crumpet
1) dude I totally munched on some scrumpets
2)Dude#1: "dude, wtf is a scrumpet?"
Dude#2: "I don't know dude, look it up on www.urbandictionary.com"
by cum dumpster June 23, 2005
 
3.
The classic drunk bitch. Never goes to class, sleeps all day, complains about her homework, never does it, takes adderall the two days before finals and tweaks out for 48 hours, fails her finals, then drinks away her sorrows for 3 weeks until she's failing again.
Those rich bitches from the suburbs of Chicago sure are scrumpets. All they do is bitch on Facebook all day about how much work they have to do and how badly they don't want to do it

Jon: Yo, can you believe this scrumpet? If she spent half as much time working as she did bitching, she'd probably be passing. She should probably stop getting so fucked up every night and sleeping all day
by theillestsesh April 06, 2012
 
4.
A slutty crumpet......

Crumpet meaning 'girl' or 'guy' or a very tastey crumpet.

It gives a new meaning to 'Any holes a goal'

That is a proper scrumpet!!!

That girl is a scrumpet!

'I bet that crumpet has been buttered many a time' ;)
by Crumpet lover April 18, 2009
 
5.
Cross a scone with a crumpet and you have a scrumpet.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Scrumpets are a scrumptious treat!
by l.garnet January 13, 2006
 
6.
Scrumpet, or Scrumpets;

A slang term for semen, such as spooge, cum, jizz, baby batter, etc. Also used to bait unicorns with, as unicorns are known to be highly aroused by scrumpets.
Sue, would you like some scrumpets? There is a fresh batch here in my skin bag.

Unicorns and whorses alike can't resist the taste of fresh scrumpets.

I hooked up with Stacey last night, and dropped a fat scrumpet on her chin.
by Lord Pignuts April 21, 2009
 
7.
A rolled, often brownish piece of toilet paper that remains after you wipe.
"Dude, Heather was lickin' my balls and she totally ingested a scrumpet."
"I've been tryin to rid of my scrumpets, so I've been using baby wipes."
by mags1923 February 16, 2007