Jon: Yo, can you believe this scrumpet? If she spent half as much time working as she did bitching, she'd probably be passing. She should probably stop getting so fucked up every night and sleeping all day
A slang term for semen, such as spooge, cum, jizz, baby batter, etc. Also used to bait unicorns with, as unicorns are known to be highly aroused by scrumpets.
Unicorns and whorses alike can't resist the taste of fresh scrumpets.
I hooked up with Stacey last night, and dropped a fat scrumpet on her chin.