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1. screff
Screff is a derogatory term for a contemptible person. There is no set of necessary and sufficient conditions which if fulfilled make a person a screff. The only necessary condition is that the person lacks self-awareness: they are unaware that their actions and behaviour make them a screff. Beyond this condition the only way to explain the meaning of screff is to enumerate examples of people who are screffs. In this way certain ‘family resemblences’ among screffs will become apparent (screff is an example of a Wittgensteinian family resemblance concept). Examples of notable screffs are:

Simon Cowell
Boris Johnson

Sir Alan Sugar
Jordan (a.k.a. Katie Price)
Cheryl Cole
Jamie Oliver
Jamiroquai
Jeremy Clarkson
Richard Hammond

The adjective Screffy can also be used to describe non-persons such as TV shows, films, music, clothes and activities that are associated with screffs.
'Simon Cowell, what a screff!'
'Humvees are proper screffy'
2. screff
A screff is a derogatory term for a person who lacks self awareness. This is a necessary but not sufficient condition for being a screff. Unfortunately, this is a fairly loose family of meaning (à la Wittgenstein). Being a screff is indicative of being oblivious to one's conditions, unclear thinking, a reluctance to accept the use of logic in argument, participating in one's own oppression, liking inane pop culture, not realising the effect that ones ideology and action will have on other people and a reluctance to look for deeper meanings than the immediately obvious. It is also secondarily used to denote members of an underclass who have been failed by society and as such have adopted some or all of the above traits.

Derivatives: (adj.) screffy
Simon Cowell
Alan Sugar
Jermaine Jenas
Katie Price
Cheryl Cole
Horne and Corden
Jeremy Clarkson

"Why are you acting like a screff, don't you realise what this means?"

(excl.) "SCREFF!"
3. Screff
A playful insult that plays on the word 'scruff'. Origonally created by Nicolle, this word can be used to insult people, but is not mean't to be too harsh
An example would be saying 'You screff!' to someone that has just done something not-very-nice or dirty
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