Sir Alan Sugar
Jordan (a.k.a. Katie Price)
The adjective Screffy can also be used to describe non-persons such as TV shows, films, music, clothes and activities that are associated with screffs.
'Humvees are proper screffy'
Derivatives: (adj.) screffy
Horne and Corden
"Why are you acting like a screff, don't you realise what this means?"
Girl 1 looks at girl two's jacket sleeve.
Girl 1- Erm, what's that on your jacket?
Girl 2 - What? Where? What d'you mean ?
Girl 1 -There! That brown thing on your sleeve. What is it?
Girl 2 - Eeeww Oh my god what is it? Where did that come from? Arrr it stinks! What is it?
Girl 1 - I don't know, I just looked down and it was there! Eeeeww
Girl 2 - (calls over to waitress) excuse me do you have any napkins I've got screff on me and nothing to wipe it off!
Waitress - screff? Oh my god!!
(Shouts out to rest of the customers) OKAY EVERYONE CAN YOU ALL PLEASE LEAVE THE PREMESIS THIS IS A STATE OF EMERGENCY WE HAVE A SCREFF CONTAMINATION AND WILL NEED TO BEGIN A DEEP CLEAN IMMEDIATELY!!!!
Girl 2 is restrained by two men in contamination suits and masks. They bundle the girl into a sterilised plastic bubble as customers are clambering over each other in a state of pannic screaming, shouting, pushing and shoving each other through the cafe door!