fucking stupid cult
scientology is fucking stupid
by Where the frogs February 26, 2017

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bull shit
scientology = bullshit
by scientology_is_bull_shit1 June 04, 2016

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So like thousands of years ago, there were aliens on this planet and then this galactic overlord came and killed all of them. Their soles went into a volcano. And then man evolved or something and now their soles reside in us, and that's what makes us sad and depressed. And so you give them $250 and they give you a book that tells you about your thinking levels. And then, and then your a Scientologist... But only if you pay them money, you cant get in for free.
HAHAHAHA this is EatMyDiction1's story about Scientology, said in his video "The Scientology Fee GMod Murder" at 3:45 EatMyDiction funny scientology
by FHRITP ALL DAY ERR DAY December 29, 2015

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The cause of Battlefield Earth.
What's your religion?
Scientology.
by username already taken June 05, 2015

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A less popular copy of Christianity. Similar principle, but less public appeal.
Guy 1: Hey, dude, you know what I just realised?
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Scientology is just like Christianity.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Well, they both involve some great celestial being and people believing in what they read in a fiction novel.
Guy 2: Holy shit.
by Willdood December 31, 2009

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1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.

2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.

3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"

Man: "No."

2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"

3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"

Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"

Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"

Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010

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The word Scientology literally means "the study of truth." It comes from the Latin word "scio" meaning "knowing in the fullest sense of the word" and the Greek word "logos" meaning "study of."
Scientology is the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, others and all of life. The religion comprises a body of knowledge extending from certain fundamental truths.
In Scientology no one is asked to accept anything as belief or on faith. That which is true for you is what you have observed to be true. An individual discovers for himself that Scientology works by personally applying its principles and observing or experiencing results.
He wanted help solving problems at work, so he went to the Church of Scientology.
by Ronnie21 November 25, 2008

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