scientology - 75 billion years ago, (3 times longer then the universe is belived to be by top scientists) in a federation of 11 galaxy's, warlord 'xenu' the dominant figure in the federation had a population crisis, so paraletic drugs were administored to trillions of the populus and then they were transported via dc-10 space planes, planes from the 50's and 60's, they were then dropped around the planet earths volcano's, and then atom bombs were fired inside them to instantly kill the trillions of 'thetans'. To stop the souls from escaping xenu had large force fields and ghost hovers to suck up the souls of the 'thetans' and placed them in 3-D viewing stations, basically 3-D cinema which showed 'xenu's' false gods, every other relgious belife and left them to wonder the planet eternally, but intellegent life formed and the thetans massed around the hosts and poisoned ther minds with relgion, and scientology claims to be the only way to remove this unhappyness through auditing sessions,and through a perminant subcription, and constatnt purchasing of over 3000 books on how to live in a scientological fashion. The creator as im sure you know was l.ron.hubbard, the most sly sex pest know to have exsisted, the law should forbid scientology to exsist due to it being utterly rediculous beyond belife and reason, its a money sapping con and will lead to disspear and brainwashing.
if your a follower of scientology please kill youself
by jon puzzle February 04, 2008
the one religion where doing cocaine is a must .. seeing as it was made by L. Ron Hubbard you have to be high on coke to take it seriously .. come the fuck on L. RON HUBBARD HE WROTE FICTIONAL NOVELS FOR CHRISTS SAKE!
Id rather worship an old ladys cooch then be a scientolo-fag(scientology)
by Bardiel October 01, 2005
L. Ron Hubbard's successful attempt to win a bet made in 1948, with Robert Heinlein, that the best way to get rich was to start a religion. Scientology was that religion, kicked off by the pseudo-self-help book Dianetics in 1949. By 1982, Hubbard's income from the Church of Scientology was about 40 million a year. There's some question about whether Scientologists murdered Hubbard, but Scientologists didn't allow an investigation before cremating the body. The head of Scientology today is a guy named David Miscavige, and the second-tier defacto rulers are in a sub-sect called the Sea Org. Spiritual enlightenment, thinking for yourself, and attempting to leave the organization are strongly discouraged, and punishable by confinement, beatings, and psychological torture. And, gee whiz, for a lot of money and some slave labor, you can buy your way into the entrails of Scientology too!
hmmm... That's some pretty good propaganda. You could start another scientology with it.
by Cygnet September 27, 2005
A Satanic cult that makes you fat.
I think they're in cahoots with Jenny Craig.
by Jimmy Kimmel March 13, 2005
THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE: Xenu (sometimes Xemu) is introduced as an alien ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy" who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and they continue to do this today, wreaking havoc in the process. Hubbard called these clustered spirits "Body Thetans," and the advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolating them and neutralizing their ill effects. I must tell you the founder of this so-called "religion" was L.Ron Hubbard a SCIENCE-FICTION writer. Hubbard's 1958 book Have You Lived Before This Life documents past lives described by individual Scientologists during auditing sessions. These included memories of being "deceived into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl", "being run over by a Martian bishop driving a steamroller", "being transformed into an intergalactic walrus that perished after falling out of a flying saucer", and (my personal favorite) being "a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago". In comparison, modern astrophysical observations have established the age of the universe at 13.7 billion (13,700,000,000) years, to within about 1% confidence. Scientology, their beliefs, and followers in a nutshell...
Scientology...well what the fuck can you say about it, its a ton of bullshit.
by el reye August 27, 2006
A cash-driven pseudo religion that encourages it's members to dress up as 8' dogs with dreadlocks and run around in the future
John Travolta went to the Church of Scientology to discuss his latest movie treatment
by MightyScoop1 August 13, 2003
Not to be confused with actual science or religion, this sad excuse for a religion is laughable. Created by a science fiction writer "Scientology" is almost like one of those second person choose your own adventure books.

The word science does not actually appear in the name. Instead we have "Scient," a make believe term that pulp fiction author L. Ron Hubbard made himself. He made up this word when he made up his biggest science fiction story of all time, "Scientology."
John: Hey Bill wanna join up at the church of Scientology with me?

Bill: Are you out of your fucking mind!
by alternatealien October 08, 2007
Scientology was founded by L. Ron Hubbard in the 20th century.

Scientology is practically a fake, lie, sham, con or deceitful, whatever you wish to call it. Scientology takes advantage of the gullibility and stupidity of people around the world, just to earn extra pocket money.

Scientology believes that a warlord known as "Xenu" obliterated a bunch of aliens a very long time ago. The bad souls of the aliens, called "Thetans", feed our body, thus making us depressed. They believe the only way of getting rid of these "Thetans" are to pay the Church of Scientology more money.

Only people with a large amount of stupidity and gullibillity would join this cult, such as Tom Cruise.
If you're thinking of joining Scientology, you are one gullible and stupid human being.
by Scientology is Shit July 10, 2008

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