A dangerous & manipulative pseudo-religious cult that promotes a fake religion through Hollywood (suitably called Hollyweird) connection by claiming to help eliminate unhappy memories & negative emotions from human consciousness to achieve the "Clear" status in order to attain superhuman powers like possessing the healing power of Jesus Christ, flying like Superman & fulfilling the fantasy of a mediocre Chevy Chase movie "Memoirs of an Invisible Man".

The Church of Scientology was invented by L. Ron Hubbard who stated "the way to make a million dollars is to start a religion" in response to the run-away best-selling success of his self-help book "Dianetics" in the 50's to the stunned amazement of his fellow accomplished science fiction writers. Worse than Dominionism & Mormon Church in their strong-arming tactics reminiscent of severe threat of ostracization & bodily harm, torture & re-education in totalitarian regimes. Three things Scientology runners & its devout fucked in the head members hate the most: psychiatry, IRS and anti-Scientology bashers on the Internet.

It's no wonder European countries, Germany in particular, vigorously prosecute Scientology for its shady money-making scheme conspiring to brainwash & dupe people into donating huge portion of their hard-earned incomes through selling houses, cars, properties, et cetera (in cases of rich Hollywood actors & established musicians, advancing through the courses would be easier by immediately paying hundreds of thousands out of pocket)

Google to read the unbelievably insane June 1983 Penthouse interview with L. Ron Hubbard Junior (the founder's own son who was born severely premature because of a botched abortion by his daddy) who called the pseudo-religion Scientology "and other cults one-dimensional, and we live in a three-dimensional world. Cults are as dangerous as drugs. They commit the highest crime: the rape of the soul."

Scientology is a reprehensibly sick & monstrously evil cult & must be wiped off the face of the Earth. It hates humankind by taking the advantage of uninformed people to exploit for greed & destroy lives by blackmail & violence if they try to bolt for the exit. Yet it continues to enjoy the freedom of religion guaranteed under the First Amendment, just like Mormon church founder Joseph Smith Junior took advantage of the Constitution to start a horseshit religion to mind fuck & control believers & converts in the quest for the Almighty Dollar.
Katie Holmes is a smart, spirited & marginally talented Catholic woman who became yet another two-bit brainwashed celebrity victim because her flamer love Tom Cruise (who uses her as his beard) insist that she try being audited by Scientologist counselors...good grief Nicole Kidman called bullshit & got dumped by him.
by Sieg Heil Neocon June 14, 2005
See sham, fraud, fake, or any word adjacent to those.

Basically its a falsetto 'religion' in which eternal happiness is attained by donating all of your money to the leaders.

Founded by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to scheme money and make a fast buck off his books. One of the 'holiest' days in this religion is Hubbard's birthday.

Because most celebrites such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta are too stupid to realize it, they belong to this group.
If you even THINK of joining scientology, you should be kicked in the balls...hard.
by ACG2x April 28, 2004
A cult founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. There core beliefs are as follows:

This area of the galaxy was once ruled by an alien warlord named Xenu. 65 million years ago his empire was overpopulated horribly, so to combat the overpopulation he had trillions of citizens called in for psychiatric evalutations and tax audits, where they were given paralytic drugs, loaded onto space planes, and flown to Planet Teegeeack. Once on this planet, their bodies were stacked in huge piles around volcanoes, while atom bombs were dropped into these volcanos, instantly killing trillions of galactic citizens.

To keep these people from reincarnating in the rest of the galaxy, Xenu set up a special trap. Powerful force-fields kept their souls (called "Thetans" in Scientology jargon) from escaping, and these thetans were then shown special holographic movies about the various lies they are supposed to believe, with characters like Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha. Over time, these thetans began to believe Xenu's lies about false gods, and began to reincarnate on Teegeeack (but the thetans called this world "Earth"). When intelligent life appeared on Teegeeack, thousands or millions of "Thetans" cling to every native soul (er, "thetan") and fill it's head with nonsensical thoughs and irrational beliefs.

The key idea of Scientology is to avoid tax officials and psychiatrists at all costs, while paying the church a large amount of money for special "counseling" (called "auditing" in their jargon) to help you reach a special enlightened state called "Clear" where you telepathically communicate with these "thetans" clinging to you and force them out of your body, and rid yourself of evil Xenu's influence.

(By the way, most Scientologists don't know this, like the Mystery Cults of the Greco-Roman world, Scientology doles it's doctrine out in tiny doses to it's new recruits, and tells the public next to nothing about what it believes. You don't hear that whole story until you reach a special rank in their group called "OT3" for "Operating Thetan 3". Their doctrine holds that if this got out, the Thetans in people would revolt at hearing the truth and people would get sick and die possibly just by hearing this story, which of course leads people who aren't Scientologists who hear this story to tell it to others and watch them not die or get ill from it.)
The Church of Scientology takes advantage of the gullibility of the American people to make a tidy profit.
by Student-Athlete December 10, 2004
A new-age religion thought up by ex-sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard. They try to recruit new members by offering them 'personality tests' to determine the 'root cause' of the person's unhappiness. Interestingly, the solution to this 'root cause' is usually paying lots of money to the Church of Scientology. Scientologists have been rightly satirised in several TV programmes, films and computer games, for example the movementarian cult in The Simpsons or the hubologists in Fallout 2, but despite this Scientology is still attracting a steady stream of new converts. The main reason for this is that people are idiots.
"Hey, did you notice that the personality test on www.scientology.org almost always tells you that you're unstable and depressed?"
by Underscore September 04, 2003
The science of making money. A pseudo-religion set up by a money grabbing black magician/adulterer/corrupt bastard called L. Ron Hubbard.
Scientology will suck your money out of you quicker than Hoover sucks shit.
by Finney July 03, 2003
A religous cult who's beliefs revolve around an intergalactic warlord named "Xenu" who nuked a bunch of aliens here on Earth billion of years ago. The souls of these aliens, called "Thetans", now inhabit our bodies and make us unhappy. The only way to get rid of these "Thetans" is to pay a bunch of money to these con men for the rest of your life.
Scientology is the biggest con of all time.
by Xenu.net October 23, 2003
Scientologists give a lot more than their money. Scientology is a living hell once you reach the stage "Clear". You are then informed about "Operating Thetan III" whereupon you are asked to join "The Sea Organisation" or "Sea Org". Since they have you brainwashed by now, you eagerly except. The Sea Org is like a concentration camp on a boat. You are forced to undergo intense physical labor. If you displease the slave masters, or "Captains" in anyway, you are punished in a manner called "Ethics". You are subject to phsyical torture, sleep deprivation, things like running from 7AM to 9PM, or mopping the deck all day in the sun in a black jumpsuit. They put you in a "recovery group" if you are being punished, and they try to brainwash you further so that you won't act out again. In this group, there's no telling if or when you might eat, or how much food you get, and living quarters are dark, hellish, roach infested, and damp. If you act out again, you are either put in a second level of "Recovery", where most people perish from exhaustion. If you have done anything seirous, (Most reasons were as minor as improperly addressing a Captain), but if you have done anything that they consider serious (plans to leave, treason, mutiny), there is a book that shows level of ways to execute. The most common way is blindfolding the prisoner, tying the hands and feet together, and dropping them off the edge of the boat into the ocean.

Scientology is like some creepy science fiction movie, but it's all really happening. They have "Churches of $cientology" set up everywhere, they have an army, and endorsements from celebrities like Tom Cruise, Nancy Cartwright, Chick Corea, and John Travolta. It's a seriously dangerous thing to get involved in, and I reccomend this website to anyone considering joining: www.xenu.net
Scientology is very clever and manipulative. A gullible person could easily fall for it by thinking they are just participants in a simple personality test. Next thing they know, they are slaves at a concentration camp. Brainwashed, tortured, deprived of food and sleep, and possibly being tied up and tossed into the sea. And if they end up surviving, that's hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a good chunk out of your life, gone, never able to get back. If you've already started taking the courses, you are already being brainwahsed and you don't know it. Of course they tell you to disregard this sort of talk. By tuning it out, and not listening to the anti- Scientologists, you are proving their point. You are being brainwashed.
by Fish April 09, 2005
The religion created by the minor Science Fiction writer, L. Ron Hubbard in 1952. Scientology teaches that you are an immortal "thetan" that is entrapped in the physical universe and your own problems by your thoughts (considerations and postulates). In practice, Scientology is the exact opposite of what it teaches. It claims to free you, but most people would say that Scientologists are brainwashed and enslaved. It claims to promote freedom of speech, but Scientology sues anyone who says anything bad about Scientology. It claims to want to improve the earth, but sues anyone who tries to use it's books and techniques without paying a license. It is a very schizophrenic and dangerous organization whose members actually infiltrated and spied on the U.S. government in the biggest ever case of its type in U.S. history.
If Scientology got big, the people who get in their way would be killed.
by adam wilson July 05, 2004

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