-Elementary School:True School. Teaches you basic math, how 2 read, how 2 write(Lang Arts), and real survival skills. They tell you that you can accomplish anything as long as you believe. Also where you make most of your life friends.
Tips For Survival: Good Times. Please cherish them.
=Middle School:The Crusher. This is where the shit piles up.
They add letters in your math and teach you completly useless stuff like a2+b2=c2.WTF.Reading stays basically except now you hate it because they make you read the same crap over and over and if you have math before it it feels like you already had reading class! Language arts turns to english and all of a sudden ''everything you learned in elementary is a bunch of shit'',says the teacher. They teach you how to write sentences and how to catch a readers atenntion. You'll probaly need this because the subjects they make you write about are so boring that who'd read them anyways? All your friends abandon you and join cliques or vice versa. Almost everyone around you is a fucking asshole, prick, emo, homosexual, slut, wannabe funny guy, anime freak, wigger, or scene poser. Those who arent are the gradeworms and the normal people like you.All of your hopes and dreams you had in elementary school are destroyed around you by teachers and students alike.If your lucky you might have a few friends or even a girl/boy friend(most likely your first or if not a real one) who will eventually dump you and crush you soul further.but youll get over. a lie they tell you is that if you dont go you WILL work at a fast food restraunt, such as mcdonalds( which is apparently a horrible hell for stupid dropout teenagers with delicious mcgridles and hamburgers.the main point of this is to lower your self esteem(possibly to emo levels)and make you realize that there is no god in school and how cold the world is.
Tips:Don't Speak. Don't make friends, let them want to be your friend.Have a iPod or gameboy: anything to keep you from losing your mind. dont join cliques.try to listen to some of the boring crap your teacher is saying so when a ''important test' comes you wont fail and spend another horrible year in hell.
~High School:Middle School Times Ten.Try To apply what youve learned in middle school. Trust no one. Repeat through this through all grades and you might just survive. some of your elemntary friends might come back to you.play your cards right and it could be somthing like elementary schoolbut with a mix of middle school.
John: Hi Bob wanna be friends?
Bob: Sure. Best Friends Forever!
Teacher: Some times you make mistakes,but with hard work,you can accomplish anything!
John: This Is awesome!!!
John:Hey Bob Watcha been doin all summer? Havent seen you all summer...
Bob:Shutup cracka! Im wit ma Gangsta(wigger) clique now dogg! Beings freinds with another guy is so gay on the ill tip forreal yo!!! we stay shootin guns and fuckin sluts(8 year old girls)forealz yo!1!11
John:WTF? anyways ccould i join your clique?
Bob: no homie, u aint hardcore(wigger) like us yo!
John's Girlfriend:I Love(am cheating you) John!!
John: I Love you too
Johns Girlfriend: im dumping you
John: we only went out for a week! you said you loved me!
GF: I was just playing around im going to get gangraped in the bathroom now!
Teacher: HAhahahah you suck! you got owned by ur GF!!!!
The only way you can get a real girl and succeed is knowing what x=+100=8000*347873478 is!!! and if you dont, your going to fail at life and work at MCDONALDS MOPPING!! HAHAHA!!
Bob: I realized I was being a wiger all this time.But I have changed lets be friends
Teacher:Im going to teach you useless crap because i dont care about your future . Im so lonley please kill me..
Teacher Two: You're doing this project THIS way with THIS information because I said so!
Where human rights are banished upon stepping into a room. You cannot sip water, eat, go to the toilet or have a fair trial. The place where we are beaten up, bullied, stolen from, forced to write until you have aches in our arms, where you cannot speak without fear of horrible punishment. Where if seven hours of solid work is not enough to impress a teacher, you are given two hours of homework.
AND, if the homework is incomplete, you are forced into detention for three hours, tearing up paper.
School is the only place that can get away with such universal cruelty. Oh, and apparently, education is too good to miss. BULLSHIT.
Student: May I go to the toilet
Teacher: I've already told you you incolent fool
(5 mins later)
Student: Ive wet myself
Teacher: Well why dident you go to the toilet
Student: You said I couldent
Teacher: How DARE you question me!
two hours detention!
Teacher: Three hours
I mean, come on! When in the hell will people just learn that no matter what they say kids don't give a shit?
School is a place to go if you want to find pot-heads, sluts, incredibly boring lectures that noone listens to anyway, the retarded, slow-witted beast known as the "principle", and any other form of shit that makes one's chlildhood less enjoyable.
Hell, my dad was thrown against a wall by a teacher, and got a concussion.
It instills in them a great hatred of what they otherwise would not despise; for example, many children who hate history don't actually hate the Civil War. They just hate that they're being forced to memorize names and dates. If they were left to their own devices, they would probably end up knowing the basics about the Civil War without having to spend pointless hours proving to some mindless beaurocrat that they know what they're talking about.
An institution that takes too long to not do enough. An institution that makes people believe that it is the only way anyone will ever learn anything or meet anyone. Apparently the real world and libraries and the Internet are not valid places of learning or places to socialize. Nope, you have to go with all the other inmates in an environment where you get no respect at all from dipshits with a special piece of paper that says they know how to humiliate you.
Pavlov's dogs, but teenagers.
A place where they're so freaking retarded they can't just make school noncompulsory. If it were noncompulsory, after a while everyone would get bored with playing video games and wander in to school to go to the chemistry lab where a chemist would show them how to do what they wanted to do.
A place where people assume you're incapable of just picking up Dickens on your own, so they have to force you to read Oliver Twist NOW so you'll hate classic literature all your life.
A place where well-meaning people destroy creativity.
School is not learning. People hate school, not a^2+b^2=c^2. They hate having to wake up early after doing homework late, having to go to a place where they have no free will and come home to where it's just reinforced by their parents.
School creates a huge inferiority complex and denies us our status as humans so corporations come in and promise us the chance to feel something intense if we just buy their snake oil. A chance to be respected if we buy their shoes, wear their wristbands, bring our mp3 players around in our $300 backpacks specially designed for the $800 bike we ride around so we can complain when we go through a puddle and splash our overpriced jeans made by abused children in India.
School is hell.
Teacher: IF YOU DON'T LEARN THIS POINTLESS SHIT EVEN MOST FINNS PROBABLY DON'T KNOW, YOU'LL NEVER GO ON TO A REALLY EXPENSIVE SCHOOL TO IMPRESS ANOTHER PROFESSOR, AND THEN GET A PIECE OF PAPER TO IMPRESS ANOTHER BEAUROCRAT!
Student:... Fuck this, I'm going to go carve wood.
Teacher: GET BACK HERE! DETENTION!
10 years later: ...He attributes his massive success to skipping school so he could practice woodcarving, which when coupled with his love of music led him to carve flutes. Now 26, Mr. Student is doing what he loves and living within his means. What a shame the rest of us are brainwashed fucks. This is Anchorman, XYA News.
I am always ready to learn, I am never ready to go to school.
Eric, damn it, you failed your chemistry test! You'll die of lung cancer now!
... But Dad, I want to be a poet...
SHUT UP, ERIC! You're going to fail at life and never get married or have kids or do anything because YOU FAILED HIGH SCHOOL CHEMISTRY!
Dad, do you remember any of your high school chemistry?
Yeah, I remember all of it and it's what's helped me get this bullshit cubicle job. Now go get on your bike and go to school.