Schmasterbation 

The act of helping an elderly person across the street.

"Today, I schmasterbated my neighbor."

"A boy scout recieved his "Civil Service" Merit Badge after schmasterbating 40 times in one day."

"Everyone should set time aside for schmasterbation at least once an hour."

Schmasterbation by CE Time Wasters November 3, 2011

schmasturbate 

The fourth "S". What you do after you shower, shit, and shave.

Bill: "Hey man what took you so long to get here? Kickoff was 10 minutes ago!"

Ray: "Sorry man I barely had time to do the 4 S's and stop at the liquor store before the game started."

Bill: "4 S's? I thought there were only 3."

Ray: "nope, 4. Shower, shit, shave, and schmasturbate."

schmasturbate by jeffrotull87 April 11, 2012

schmasternate 

when you you are completely smashed and trying to masturbate and you are unable to

dude i was trying to schmasternate last night, but it was like a book of wheres waldo trying to find that thing.

schmasternate by mikbails February 21, 2011

shasterbated 

(verb) an African tribal ritual mimicked in many welsh farmers in which the farmer gets a sheep and proceeds to insert his large spoonful of animal feed in order to keep his flock well fed and healthy

The welsh shepherd shasterbated the sheep with his gargantuan spoon full of feed

shasterbated by Michaelinyjon Jones January 10, 2008