schlemazel 

A perpetually unlucky person. A person who's often a victim of something bad. From Yiddish.

A "schlemiel" is the guy most likely to spill the wine at dinner.
A "schlemazel" is the guy most likely to have the wine spilled on him.
And the "nudnick" is the guy most likely to ask (in a nasal voice), "Gee, what kind of wine was that anyhow?"

schlemazel by Osama_Bin Login January 12, 2014

schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant 

An ad done by a New Zealand guy who keeps talking about his deck but it sounds like he’s saying dick

“Hey, get that squirrel off my dick! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my dick!” Quote Schaeffer’s New Zealand Deck Sealant guy

schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant by Moduluss March 12, 2019

schleeb

Slang for 4-HO-MET, a lesser-known novel psychedelic of the Tryptamine class (which includes substances like melatonin, serotonin, DMT and Psilocin). Users typically describe Schleeb as a more recreational version of psilocybin mushrooms due to its less serious headspace and greater emphasis on visual effects.

John: "Yo Billy you tryna shnort this schleeb?"
Billy: "Hell yes John lets shnort this schleeb!"

schleeb by dogeater84 November 23, 2020

ashley schaeffer 

This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.

It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.

The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.

ashley schaeffer by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 23, 2009

hammacher schlemmer 

A magazine filled with hella expensive stuff no one would use in real life. The magazine was created for billionaires and rich, ass white people to spend the extra million dollars they find between their couch cushions on.

"Honey, pass me that Hammacher Schlemmer magazine," said Mark as he put on his gucci sunglasses.

hammacher schlemmer by RealSh*t September 25, 2013

schleimer

in german speach a schleimer(for she "schleimerin") is a person whos head is proverbial sticking in ones ass - for a schleimers advantage... also the austrian (a german dialekt) word "oarschkriacha" - something like (free translated) asscrowler means the same.
a person veryvery nice too other people only for getting into better positions.

upwards he´s a schleimer downwards he kicks

schleimer by martin mou newmiller December 24, 2006

schlegel 

A infinitesimally small unit of measurement that is of the utmost importance.

The trajectory calculations for the rocket were off by a schlegel , now it's on a collision course with the sun. titch

schlegel by thethirteenthlegion June 12, 2017