To slap someone, typically in punishment and preferably across the face, with one’s penis.
This better get fixed now, or someone’s getting schlanked.
When Judd’s student lied about having completed his homework, Judd schlanked him to death.
I schlanked your father in an attempt to get the money he owes me, but unfortunately he liked it.
To spank someone with your schlong
I gave your mom a schlanking after she ran out of mashed potatoes.
You need to schlank your girl. She's getting a little uppity.
This word was pioneered by the infamous Brisbane suburban renegade "Hippy". This wretched vagrant and his frankly criminal exploits all over the suburbs these past few years has seen the slow spread of the term in the nomenclature of Brisbane's youth.
What exactly the term means remains unclear, and in fact, its very likely it means absolutely nothing at all.
The conclusion here is that the word was most likely coined by Hippy while he was Chewbaccin' (completely fucked, only able to mutter and grunt incoherent and vaguely Wookie-ish sounds). It seems he fluked the word 'schlank', and upon someone else having to recount the previous night's events, he decided he enjoyed the word and began using it to randomly replace other words in sentences.
Its most recognized form is an adverb in sentences organizing or describing being fucked up.
To have someone turn something you say into a story about how great they are.
He just schlanked you.