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original name: Zänte Klas
pronounced: (tsain teh klahz)

A German Nazi doctor who dealt in psychological experimentations with the Jewish prisoners by leaving symbolic items in odd places; such as a ragdoll nailed to a wall. He also loved to play jokes on his fellow officers. In one account, Klas was locked out of a building for being a nuisance and ended up climbing on the roof and sliding down the chimney in order to get inside where he proceeded to eat all of the food and drink the last of their milk stock.

Feared by many for his extreme madness, yet unliked in high command for his lack of success, he was reassigned to an expiditionary team bound for the northern pole. Due to bad weather, the team was left stranded without resupply for weeks in which all died but one. The lone survivor's recount was a terrible one, describing how Herr Zänte Klas killed and ate the team, being the big man he was. When asked how he escaped, the survivor said Klas had been watching him closely, and told him he was a good boy and wouldn't be harmed.

All the men who were killed had, on the night before, hung up their big wool socks to dry and woke to find coal had been placed in them. Another one of Klas's symbolic jokes, they thought. Too late did they realize the truth.
So be a good boy because "Santa Claus" watches closely and rewards those who are good. But be a bad boy, and you'll find more than coal in the morning...
by Winter Wonder January 27, 2009
Evil robot who terrorizes the citizens of New New York every X-mas Eve, because he judges everyone to be naughty. He throws grenades that look like X-mas tree ornaments and shot a TOW missile at Fry and Leela when he caught them under mistletoe. One time, he got frozen in the ice of Neptune due to the exhaust from the Planet Express ship melting the ice and it refroze. Bender then had to take his place that X-mas eve.
Amy: "You can't stay out on X-Mas eve, you'll be killed!"
Fry: "Say what?"
Farnsworth: "Good lord! he doesn't know about Santa Claus."
by MontgomeryGator February 02, 2007
A jolly old man who lives at the north pole with his wife and thousands of elves. He flies around the world on Christmas Eve delivering presents to good little girls and boys, but only when they're fast asleep. He also delivers presents to children on their birthdays, but only if they're on his VIP list.
Santa claus gave me a super ultra laser beam gun for my sixth birthday.
by Bokuwa March 26, 2010
Codeword for the guy we depend on to deliver the good bud.
He don't just show up on Christmas Eve; but, he is rather erratic on his timing, dammit.
KELLY (on cell): Hey, Gary just thought I'd let you know: I haven't seen SANTA CLAUS. So, I guess it's 'whenever.' I wish he'd hurry up and at least gimme a call.
My boyz are itchin'.
GARY: "Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic. It'll be Christmas soon."
KELLY: "Alright, man. I just thought I'd let you know."
by Chingo Bolamongo October 10, 2006
1. A fake Christmas from the north pole who make toys for good boys and girls with his elves and wife.
2. A Turkish man named St. Nicholas who made little trinkets for poverty-stricken children and put the toys in the shoes they left on their doorsteps.
3. A lie parents tell their children so they don't cause trouble all year but'll never go to the 'jects.
4. The guy at the mall and the kids take a picture with some desperate fat guy who probably is a drunk who abuses his wife and hates kids.
1. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
3. Timmy, if you're good and quiet Santa Claus will get you that bike you want...and I can fuck Uncle Nick all year without you telling this time.
4. Ho!Ho!Ho...later...Fuckin' brats (chugs) this soup is cold bitch! (slaps wife).
by MayaEA April 08, 2006
A hundred year old magical fat petafile that sneaks into small childrenns homes at night and leaves them toys, while he eats all your cookies and drinks all your milk on his yearly visits. Likely drunk. Also, he still owes you that damn pony from when you were 5!
Little kid: Yay Santa Claus!
Older brother: Wheres my Damn pony?!
by The not so big and not so red November 05, 2010
Santa Claus (English translation - Mad Bastard) was the nickname for an escaped felon who climbed into people's houses on Christmas Eve night and left self-detonating nail bombs inside parcels in the living rooms. These nail bombs would explode when the parcel was opened, thus exploding the face of the 5 year old kid who opened it. The bombings and killings went on for years until eventually he was tortured and killed by the Triads.
"Ho-ho-hooo-shit" - Santa Claus' last words after be shown a pair of jumper cables.
by A Triad August 23, 2010