Got shit housed at The River!!
He loves girls, but they don't love him back :(
Thinks everyone comes to him, when really, they runaway.
J: A redheaded monster that has decent abs for his age, but all turns bad when his face is exposed. He is a put a bag over and tap. Calls you, and hangs up. Even though he's kinda mean sometimes, he claims he loves you, and weirdly, you find yourself growing feelings for him, too.
Also, he likes to send pictures. And he refuses to measure his sausage because he claims to not be able to find a ruler.
skaters- Look! River! Run!
girls- No! Faster! Go!
river- Hey you guys, want a ride from my dad?
girls&skaters- HELLLL YEAAAHH!
skaters-LOOK RIVER AN AIRPLANE!!
river-(turns around) whooaaaahhhh my daddy has one of those!!