A Republican Is Someone Who Believes The Following:

I BELIEVE the strength of our nation lies in military might and God's help, as long as we do His Will and make this a Christian nation while supporting Israel until the day Israel is destroyed and Jesus returns.

I BELIEVE that each person's dignity, freedom, ability and responsibility must be honored unless we can encroach on these in the name of safety or other short-term excuse that the idiot populace will accept.

I BELIEVE in special rights and justice for Republican politicians, Christian leaders, the extremely wealthy and lobbyists, regardless of cause as long as the money is right.

I BELIEVE in equal justice and equal opportunity for everyone else, regardless of race, creed, sex, age or disability, unless we're talking about lazy black people, illegal Mexican people, uneducated women, homosexuals, or, if justice and opportunity for disabled people costs businesses money.

I BELIEVE large corporate profits, stock market wealth and protection of monopolies will bring this nation opportunity, economic growth and increased prosperity for the upper one percent of incomes.

I BELIEVE government should talk about fiscal responsibility and allowing individuals to keep more of the money they earn, but should actually borrow and spend recklessly and place the full burden of taxes on those with lower and lower incomes and future generations for short term gain. Any taxes on the rich are socialism.

I BELIEVE the proper role of government is to advance Christian evangelical morals through tax code, control of education, judicial appointments, privatization and the proper Christian philosophies of wealth and warfare.

I BELIEVE the most effective, responsible and responsive government is government run by those who know best, and all means necessary must be used to work against poll access by the lowly, the lazy, the stupid and the poor.

I BELIEVE the Republican Party was founded by America's founding fathers to fight Roe vs. Wade, to protect "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance they wrote, to put "Under God" on our money, and to keep the Ten Commandments in our Courtrooms and government buildings.

I BELIEVE that we must never speak to our enemies, unless they're very big enemies with money and cheap labor agreements.

I BELIEVE in free trade with lower nations that provide cheap labor and higher profits and any attempt to induce labor or environmental equality on these nations is liberalism.

I BELIEVE you're either with us or you're with the terrorists. If you do not have the same beliefs we do, you are un-American and worthy of derision, abuse, vandalism, placement on no-fly lists and investigation.

I BELIEVE anyone labeled "liberal" is a socialist, which is actually communist, which is actually Marxist, which means evil.

I BELIEVE abortion must be made illegal, but stopping extramarital and teen sex is more important than reducing abortion rates, so I support abstinence-only education, blocking of access to birth control by teens, and punishing poor people for being lazy by blocking access to health care to those women who want to keep their babies.

I BELIEVE Americans must retain only those principles that we consider important while developing new and innovative ideas for bringing power to a Republican executive branch and reducing the power of the annoying Congress and the activist Courts.

I BELIEVE Americans value and should preserve our national strength and pride while working to extend peace, freedom and human rights to good Americans only, and to create international opportunities throughout the world to develop inexpensive manufacturing for American companies.

FINALLY, I believe the Republican Party is the best vehicle for translating these ideals into positive and successful principles of government, and I believe we must use any means necessary, including lies, smears, voter suppression, federal police, the Secret Service, warrantless spying, even the destruction of lives and reputations, to progress our God-endorsed agenda.
"Those right wing Republican nut jobs are extremely bigoted, ruthless, and evil."
by Juan In A Million August 06, 2009
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An individual who believes that the white male Christian God should be the only object of worship on the planet, that power and wealth should remain in the hands of 1% of the world's population while the remaining 99% starve, that health care should be privatized so the poor can't afford basic medication, that a rape victim living on welfare should be forced to care for a baby she didn't even ask for, and that America is the only real country on Earth while all those other countries they read about are just fakes invented by communists...oh wait, it's terrorists now, isn't it?
We can all hope that the standard of education in America improves to the point where a Republican can no longer be voted into office.
by Grimrider November 27, 2002
Someone who supports the rights of the unborn, but won't fund stem cell research that could help the millions who are already here. The first one to protest abortion rights, and the first one willing to take a life through capital punishment. Someone who espouses personal freedom, and then tries to pass constitutional amendments to restrict it. Someone threatened by government surplus but unfazed by goverment deficits. Someone who is pro-business but anti-citizen. Someone who wants to take away the helping hand, after he's made it to safety. Someone who holds a cross in one hand and tries to burn it with the other.
He is such a Republican, hypocrisy will be the death of him yet.
by a Patriot August 17, 2004
(Noun) Member of the United States' Republican Party, first emerging in the mid 1800s as an anti-slavery movement. Success of candidate Abraham Lincoln in the Presidential election of 1860 sparked the American Civil War. The party has since moved on to other issues. Republicans today are characterized by typically right-wing, conservative beliefs including but by no means limited to pro-business policies, lack of dependence on the government in daily life, religious convictions, and desire to outlaw what they deem socially undesirable actions.

(Adjective) Typical or characteristic of a Republican or the Republican party.
1. George W. Bush was the Republican candidate for President in 2004.

2. He holds Republican ideals.
by A Discount Brick November 28, 2004
One who cuases almost %50 of this nations problems.
(For the cause of the other %50 see: Democrat)
Watch they say the same things and then say their ideas have more merrit, simply due to the name of their party.
by Wooooo December 15, 2002
Typically a person who believes that:
1)The 2nd Amendment of the Constitution takes precidence over the rest of the Constitution.
2)The rich should be tax-exempt, and that the middle and lower classes should have to foot the bill, also, a person who bitches when an under-funded government agency is unable to carry out its assigned task.
3)Thinks that programs such as welfare, medicare/medicaid and minimum wage are unconstitutional and should be banned.
4)Labels everything and everyone they disagree with as being "Communist" or "Anti-American" or "French."
I'm filthy-stinking rich! How dare you expect me to pay taxes!
by Hu$tla' $teve September 02, 2003
A member of one of the two major political parties in the United States. The symbol of the party is an elephant, and it's symbolic color on the electoral map is red. Despite the party's color being red, they tend to be the more right-wing, as they usually tend to be more Conservative and/or Libertarian.

If you are a Republican, you probably:
- support a capitalist and/or free-market economy in which people are able to keep what they earn
- want lower income taxes
- want more power to states and local government
- want a smaller federal government
- believe that the nation should be how the American Founding Fathers wanted it to be
- believe that money would go better towards employing people than giving them welfare
- believe that the Constitution should be followed more strictly
- believe that free speech should be protected no matter who is offended
- believe that homosexual couples should not be given marriage benefits paid for by tax payers (does not necessarily mean banning homosexuality or gay marriage entirely)
- believes that birth control should not be free
- believes that abortion should not be aloud (often with exception for rape and/or risk of the mother's life)
- believe execution is okay for serious offenses
- believe people should be aloud to bear arms
- believe that minorities are just like any other people and laws should apply to people of different racial groups equally
This is one of the few non-biased definitions for the word "Republican" on Urban Dictionary
by Shnoogle June 25, 2014
A member of the Republican Party who generally has right wing views, believes in lower tax rates, lack of dependency of the government in everyday life, and believes in less market restrictions.

This is a real definition, not just a five paragraph rant about how republicans suck. This is what you'd find in a dictionary.
Abraham Lincoln and George Bush were both members of the Republican Party.
by efuqua2 June 25, 2014

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