Purgist: I'd love to, but I have to tell you, I have ADD and I'm easily distracted, I'm a boarder-line alcoholic, I lack the ability to make even the smallest decision, and I have a hard time controlling my bodiliy functions.
Person 1: On second thought, I'll just leave her in the back seat.
Roomate: Hey, Mindy, just remember our rent's due next week.
Purgist: Okay, here's my share of it. By the way, I was pissed off that you finished all the cookies, so I peed in your shoes, it wasn't the cat, and I feel much better now.