The position you get into to build up fart gas, so you can light it on fire. Get down on the floor; place your chest on the ground; put your butt up as high as it can go; place one side of your face on the ground like you are listening for footsteps; wait until you need to fart. When you "get one," roll over on your back; place the flame under your anus; and push out a plode (a fart on fire). Never light up in silk, never in the nude, to prevent suck back (flame in anal cavity). Fart lighting is polite, as it extinguishes the smell.
Man, I have an upset stomach after eating that warm, greasy salad. Let me get in the prone position so I can light up (fart on a flame).
by Bobby Johnson from Vici March 28, 2012