Tactical positioning

The activity of sitting in The corner of a room thanking of how you have no life and just love to stare at doors waiting for kids to walk in.

Being a pussy ass camper aka Tactical positioning in a corner of a room unnoticed waiting for little kids to walk in the room so you can shit on them with your mac10.

Tactical positioning by Silas07 January 7, 2021

Girlfriend Positioning System 

The surreptitious use of Google Latitude on your girlfriend's phone so that you can track her whereabouts without her knowing. Tends not to work with technology-proficient girlfriends. Also requires a phone that supports Latitude, but helped by the prevalence of Android, Apple OS and Blackberry phones.

Commonly abbreviated GiPS (pronounced: jips).

John: so Carla's gone out with her friends tonight, huh? Where are they headed?

Bob: she said Misty's but, hang on - my girlfriend positioning system shows an anomaly - why is she in some random street in Hangleton???

John: dude!

Girlfriend Positioning System by Mr. Duffy May 29, 2010

Lloyd Webber's Law Of Temporal Positioning 

A Law of the Theatre

This law states that "people who arrive earliest are always those with seats on the end of a row.  People who arrive latest are always those with seats in the middle."

A related law is Mackintosh's Corollary

When you arrive late, and you're sat bang in the middle of a block of seats.

Lloyd Webber's Law Of Temporal Positioning by Sairin January 6, 2005

Man Positioning System 

Also Man-P-S or MPS

The innate ability of a man to know exactly where he is and where he needs to go at any given moment. Noted especially in situations involving driving on unfamiliar roads.

A naturally occurring aspect of most males; the electronic device known as a "GPS" is named after it.

Ken doesn't need to ask directions, he has Man-P-S.

Person: How do you know where you're going?
Man: I use my MPS.
Person: Your what?
Man: My Man Positioning System.
Person: Hooray!

Man Positioning System by Really Bad Rye June 25, 2009

Bacon Positioning System 

Spotting known locations of police, can be abbreviated to BPS

Reggie: Watch out Bacon Positioning System says cops like to hide behind these trees

Bacon Positioning System by TayeBiddle January 20, 2012

GPS (Global Positioning Steven) 

Named for an annoying wannabe kid who never gets invited to go places, but always seems to show up anyway. Because he can find his "friends" anywhere, even if they go to great lengths to exclude him or go places that they think he'll never find them, he is thought to have an extrasensory advantage in locating others.

"So I went to the mall with Joe the other day and Nick showed up. It was like he was waiting for us!"
"Yeah, he does that all the time. He's got GPS."

GPS (Global Positioning Steven) by B-Town June 1, 2004

Penis Positioning System 

Penis Positioning System (PPS) is the system whereby "Mr. Penis chooses his own position". That is to say that your penis decides where you go (and who you do). Penis Positioning System is named for Global Positioning System (GPS).

Ed: Dude, I don't know what I was thinking.
Al: PPS.
Ed: What?
Al: Ask Mr. Penis, he chooses the position.

Lee: Oh man, I was using my Penis Positioning System last night, that's for sure.

Penis Positioning System by ~Anonymous~ May 6, 2006