take a funnel and pour the eggs in her pussy, then fuck her, and you have just made her "scrambled eggs" aka PORTUGUESE BREAKFAST
Here's how to make one:
1) Find a willing and naked female participant. If the female is not naked or willing, halothane or a slow gas leak may help this process.
2) Have her lie down with her back on the floor, propping herself up and spreading her legs open so she resembles the letter 'Y'. (Speaking of which, if she asks, "Why?", tell her to STFU before you give her a Jelly Donut for breakfast.)
3) Crack three large eggs into a bowl. Do not beat or whisk yet; that's in Step 7.
4) Insert a funnel into her vagina and carefully pour the cold, raw eggs into it. Watch her wince and shudder as the chilly slime slips deep down inside of her. Awesome!
5) Remove the funnel when all contents have drained into her vagina. Some bubbling/gurgling may occur. Let it sit for 5 minutes to warm up.
*BONUS: This funnel makes a dandy hat - wear it for comedic effect.
6) Now, stuff your cock into that stench-trench and rapidly fuck her non-stop for at least 10-15 minutes to adequately scramble the eggs. Not HER eggs - the other ones.
7) Continue to steadily pound her, occasionally pulling out to check the consistency of the mixture; it should be hot and frothy when ready. At this point, internal ejaculation is encouraged, but only if you won't be eating the finished product. That would be gross.
8) Providing the female is conscious, have her carefully squat over a pre-heated & pre-buttered frying pan, and purge the frothy, mucousy contents out of her twat and into the hot skillet. This will produce a satisfying "splarsh" sound, followed by a bubbling sizzle.
*If your participant is an unconscious one, you may use a ladle
or spoon for this step.
*If you have a penchant for contracting foodborne illnesses,
you may use a straw to siphon it out, mouthful by mouthful.
9) You can now cook this as you would any other egg-based breakfast dish; this can be scrambled with a fork or formed into an omelet. Add any vegetables, cheeses, or meats of your choice. Not YOUR meat - the other ones.
10) Cook over medium heat until fully cooked. Salt & pepper to taste. Serves two.
*Serving suggestion: You may want to garnish by blowing a hot gooey load all over the top, as you would present a Hollandaise sauce, and make her lick the plate clean after she eats it all. Upon serving, be sure to say, "Bon Appétit, bitch!"
Will: Yep. My home.
Vicki: Oh. Typical.
Will: Hey, I was a perfect gentleman-- I even made her breakfast this morning.
Vicki: Awww, that's sweet! What'd you make her?
Will: A nice Portuguese Breakfast.
Vicki: Ah. I take it she won't be coming back to THAT bar...
Vicki: Wow, you ARE evil.
Will: The Internet made me evil.