A hooker, ho, or whore who once you get her into the room asks you if she could just watch you do yourself. Usually characterized by her falling asleep during the middle of it. You often feel ripped off after she leaves.
Porch monkey refers to being lazy and the hooker can be of any color.
"How was your birthday present we sent you last night Bill?"
"Terrible you bought me a Porch Monkey Hooker"
"Shit I'm sorry man"