There are more than one type of poop:
The Classic: The poop that warns you and says "Hey you have to poop" then you go, it slips out easily , and you only have to wipe once. AKA: The dream poop.
The Shotgun: This poop is rather unpleasant. There is no warning and the poop says "YOU HAVE TO POOP NOW! QUICK OR ELSE YOU WONT MAKE IT!" so you sprint to the bathroom and start pooping before you even hit the seat. You are finished pooping within a matter of seconds but the wiping takes about 24.34 minutes.
The Ice Cream Machine: This type of poop lives up to it's name well. It gives little warning but at least enough to put toilet paper on the seat if you're in a public restroom. It comes out as either a viscous liquid or a very chunky soup. This one is by far the longest one to wipe.
The Houdini: This poop is a trickster. You know it came out but you never heard it hit the water. So you peek around to check the toilet...and it's gone!
The Tsunami: This is usually a very hard and large poop, but it can also be a shotgun poop. You are sitting and pushing away and it comes out. You are about to sigh in relief when a very cold splash of water laps your butt. Not a good time.
The False Alarm: You are alerted that a poop is nearing your anus so you run into the bathroom and sit down. Unfortunately that poop turned out to be a very loud series of farts.
The Liar: You have noticed your s...
Could be a solid or liquid.
Can contain corn and other contents.
Classified as a number 2
The Clean poop:
The one that comes out but when you wipe, There is nothing on the toilet paper.
The Lincoln logger:
A very long poop that seems to never stop coming out your butt.
The one that floats and sometimes comes back up the toilet after you flush.
The Floater Lincoln Logger.
The one that has corn in it. lol.
The Power POOP:
The one that you push really hard on and when it comes out, it's like a shotgun blast.
The wet Poop/Shart:
The one one where you wipe 100 times but there's still something to wipe.
The splash poop:
You sit down, take a fat dump, start to relax, only to have your butt splashed by toilet water.
The Never-ending poop:
The one where it takes you half a year to poop out.
The false alarm:
The one where you sit down,
But the only thing that comes is a series of loud farts.
The Disappointment poop:
The one where you are practically having to push out with all your might but when you look in the toilet, You could swear you see a cocoa puff.
The sudden poop:
The one that suddenly comes out of nowhere and makes you sprint to the bathroom. Once your at the bathroom you just pull your pants off and start pooping even before you sit on the toilet.
And last but not least,
The Surprise poop:
You think that you are about t...
The Poop Poop:
Brown. Slithers out of your ass. Not very satisfactory, and not particularly painful. Causes moderate amount of crap left in your ass for you to wipe.
The Quickie Dirty Poop:
This poop bolts out of your ass like a rocket. It doesn't hurt. However, you have lots to wipe, as the inside of your ass will look like a rusty factory if you were to look inside.
The Quickie Happy Poop:
Bolts out of your ass. Clean. Painless. A welcome from the annoying "Winnie The Poop"
Winnie the Poop:
Moves a bit. Once your hopes get up, it gets stuck and refuses to move an inch. You will have to push like hell until Pooh comes out. Usually a sort of constipation.
The Alamo Poop:
You push and push. Similar to Winnie the Poop. Once this poop comes out, you see a small pebble. Thats when a stream of red hot diarrhea comes flaring out. Usually means you are beginning to get diarrhea.
The Russian Poop: (AKA Diarrhea)
You crap, and crap, and crap some more. It will not stop coming. The best idea is to keep pushing, and flush every five minutes. It will end eventually. This poop is really painful, and your ass will ache for a couple days because of all the wiping.
The Peek-A-Boo Poop:
You will crap. This poop will land in the water, and would appear to go down the hole. It will then constantly return to the surface to annoy you. Flush quickly when its at the t...