With the help of modern day science, we no longer have to resort to using a leaf while squating by some tree in a public park. You can purchase modernized poop eraser at any convenience store.
2) Something your new roommate uses a lot of.
3) A "safe" form of contraband you can use to hit your new roommate in the head with.
2) My new HOMELESS rommate is in the bathroom again using up all the poop eraser.
3) As my roommate sat their on the floor watching cartoons, I held myself back from giviing her a 'blow to the back of the head' with some good old poop eraser.