Pikeys are the scum of society that are feared but mostly hated by every member of the community apart from themselves. You can spot a pikey from a mile away due to their ugly looks, constant stench of stale fags and Stella. Not to mention their shell suits with the most schnide Burberry you will ever see in your life. Everything they own is stolen, ranging from their fat, dirty cheap sovereigns to their trainers, which they most probably got by them and their “bruvs” robbing some poor little defenceless kid. You can tell where a pikey has been by the puddles of spit they leave and their poor attempts to graff accompanied by they ridiculously named gangs written on every available surface of the street. They all shag the same slag before she is 16 as any later than that age as socially unacceptable in a pikey society so you will find that Wayne is Shane’s brother and dad. Sexually transmitted diseases are rife so don’t even consider getting a blowjob off one... Little fucking shits!
I fucking hate pikeys
by SMgs February 13, 2004
This is a term to describe people less fortunate than us, They usually live on your local beauty spot and appear over night. Some have actually worked hard ripping off the elderly, by repairing a roof tile for £10000. So they can afford to lower the tone of an area by moving in to a house.
They drive four by four vehicles, which are usually towing your Ifor Williams trailer that was nicked three weeks previous. They find it hard to grasp the concept of father’s day, as usually they don’t know which of the many men in their life is actually the father.
They enjoy bare knuckle fighting as a sport and usually have a metal bar or rabies infected dog for back up.
There idea of a holiday is getting caught doing a crime and being sent to prison where they will rent out there asshole for a small sum.
Plain and simple "inbreeds"
by a non pikey person September 08, 2003
irish gypsies who will steal anything and are mostly violent
"i fockin' 'ate pikeys" -from snatch
by phil April 21, 2003
An unsavoury man or woman who sponges off the state and exploits the European Human Rights legislation in order to ruin beautiful countryside locations by covering it in hardcore and tarmac, then moving caravans and vehicles on to the land.

Do not mistake the wealth or power of these people. They milk the fact that 60 years ago a facist German leader sent gypsys (pikeys) to gas ovens for obvious reasons.

They are dishonest, steal from pensioners, are violent, (Fred West, the serial killer was a pikey) and marry their own sisters/brothers/aunts/uncles.

They are are a sub-human species, and although I would not expect them to receive the 'gas oven' treatment, it would be best in the long run, if lethal injection might eradicate this foul race of people.

They make peoples life a misery, and honest and hard working folk are thrown into jail, just for looking at them in an unfriendly manner.

Tony Blair: How would you like a hundred pikeys on your back lawn: No you wouldn't, by the way, they have more money in the bank than you Tony!
Wiltshire was invaded by pikeys and they renamed the county 'pikeshire'.
by Clinton Sounds March 27, 2005
small, aggressive, mouthy individual. Usually male, badly dressed and fairly easy to outwit. Tends to rove in packs, so beware before antagonising. Preferred form of transport is a stolen Transit recovery truck, so they can just help themselves to whatever they fancy. may have a large untrained dog with them. At home it is common to see a selection of burnt out Sierra's on their front lawn (paid for by taxpayers, incedentally). Motto includes the Nike emblem with the words 'Just Take It' underneath it.
'Pikey, Pikey, go where you likey'
by Taff August 18, 2003
A derogatory term used to describe a person of Irish descent who lives in a caravan and travels the country. (It should be noted that the term "gypsy" or "romany" is not always accurate to describe these people-traditional Romany types have their roots in Eastern Europe and quite emphatically distance themself from Irish travellers.) no visible means of support although always seems to have a huge wad of ready cash. Opinions vary to the source of their income, but it generally consists of
1/stealing.
2/carrying out shoddy third rate building work for a grossly inflated price, then threatening to get the "boys round" if you wont pay.
3/thats about it....
Usually live in brand new top of the range caravans (stolen) and drive plain white brand new transit vans/pickups.(also stolen and uninsured. if you get hit by one out on the road, you've had it, what they will do is suggest you come round the campsite to sort it out, where they will beat seven bells out of you as a form of compensation) They will site their caravans on any available land, regardless of ownership, from the farmer's field to B&Q's carpark, and tend to know the law better than the police regarding squatter's rights. they usually show their appreciation to the landowner by dumping vast quantities of rubbish, human faeces, etc on the land before they leave.
They have recently made a great study of European union Human rights legislation and with the help of conscienceless money hungry lawyers have fought many court battles regarding why they don't need to make planning applications like the rest of us.
Despite contibuting nothing to the economy of their present country of residence, they are quick to complain when their children dont seem to get an education, when they are turfed off private land, etc.
They like to portray the image of a hard done by ethnic minority that is the victim of racial discrimination, citing the reason that ordinary people dont understand their way of life, they are really cheerful romany travellers, honest as the day is long, butter wouldnt melt, etc, failing to appreciate the fact that regular people are really not that gullible.
When not carrying out tarmaccing jobs, gardening etc, the pikey may supplement their income by stealing cars, either selling it on, stripping for parts or weighing it straight in for scrap, along with lead from church roofs, cast iron railings from outside schools, brass plaques from gravestones and their last transit van that got recognised by its legitamate owner.
Some modern pikeys are being extremely sly, choosing instead to live in houses like real people, either buying outright for cash, or playing on the local authority's duty to someone who claims to be homeless. Living in houses does not change their ways however, and they are still likely to steal from their neighbours, as you can find out when the stereo from your car that was broken into appears as if by magic in their transit van.
Pikeys are best avoided at all costs, unless you are extremely hard, and have a lot of hard mates. when challenged alone, your average pikey will be a spineless piece of shit who would rather run, but be warned their credo is "strength in numbers" and he will soon turn up at your place with 100 of his smelly unwashed mates, keen to bring you round to their way of thinking by use of fists, baseball bats, etc. Police are equally terrified of them and the traditional way in which they are dealt with by police is to move them onto a different area where they will be someone else's problem.
The recent huge influx of pikeys from Ireland is a direct result of legislation bought in by the Irish government effectively outlawing their way of life, and the uk's open door immigration policy is like a welcome mat.
If you live in a remote farmhouse and feel at risk of pikey attack, be sure to have a shotgun handy, its no less than they deserve- nobody likes being stolen from, after all, Essex people got fed up with them a couple of years back and torched their campsite one night.
Be warned, the only time a pikey will speak to you is if he thinks he can rip you off, get something for nothing, or just steal something you have that he wants.
HGV drivers in particular regularly hear the pikey's distinctive call "d'ye have any spare diesel, sor?", however, they will at least pay for it, offering you £10 for 50 gallons which they extract with a high-speed electric pump and oil drum in the back of their transit. If you decline their generous offer, they will likely turn up a little later and help themselves anyway.
so to sum up. thieving, parasitic, respecter of neither people or property, what they cant use they will destroy.
The traditional reaction of any criticism is "come round the campsite, we'll soon change your mind"
PIKEY:"we were doing a tarmaccing job up the road and the machine fell over, we have all dis tarmac to get rid of before it sets, do ye want yer driveway done? only tree hundred pound"
Homeowner "yes sure"
pikey: "ok, we finished, dat's six hundred pound. pay it or we'll come back and born yer house down"
Homeowner's shotgun "KABOOM"

Pikey pulls up in 7.5 ton lorry. "can ye sell me some diesel? I've not got enough to get to de services, I have an account there"
"yeah right, you drove past the petrol station 20 yards away to come and ask me that"

pikey:"want to boy a new laptop? only 50 pound"
person: "no thanks, you'll give me a bag with a housebrick in it or something"
by oLEW December 28, 2007
Unfortunately pikeys are the majority of today's youth, and everyone else has to suffer. Pikeys are the people who are eternally rude, make a mockery of the english language (I'm sure the person who invented the english language is having a fit). They are the people who make you feel uncomfortable for walking along the same street as then, and generally destroying today.
To get the right image in your mind:
Male pikey:
Dress - addidas or similar sports tracksuit bottoms, above the ankle of course, occasionally with the white socks pulled up over the top. astonishingly white trainers, as if they've just been stolen, popular sports make obviously. A nicholson or england polo shirt,or a polo shirt (and matching cap) with graffiti writing saying "love sex rock n' roll" or similar over and over again,
or general football shirt, a FCUK shirt and if you're lucky a cheapo "designer silk shir" (fresh from the local market) and usually an addidas or similar training jacket, or if not a hoodie pulled up over the cap. Large cheap gold chains hanging aroung their neck, fake of course but about 5 inches thick, and one gold earring. Fake burberry headwear of course, a nice fake burberry cap planted on their greasy heads under a hood, or a white cap covered in basketball team logos perched on top of their heads, not even in an attempt to stay on. Hair is usually very short, often shaved, if not completely gone, extremely greasy.

Traits: Young pikeys in cheap cars with spoilers, alloys and neon lights underneath of course. And just so you know you can hear a pikey coming from about 10 miles off, you can hear the "UMTA UMTA UMTA UMTA" of the drum and bass blasting out of their cars with their 3000 watt speakers. Council houses are their home, older pikeys usually don't work because "the country owes them a living and the government works for them" and young pikeys often don't go to school, intelligence is not their strong point. You will also see pikeys hurling abuse at innocent bystandersand often beating them up. Pikeys always hang around in groups of at least 10 at bus stops, parks, actually anywhere where there is something. You will also see pikeys standing on street corners smoking (no matter what age) and possibly with a bottle of white lightning or similar cheap alcohol. Shoplifting and fighting are good hobbies.

Female Pikey:
Dress- female pikeys often change their style of dress but of course are instantly recognisable. The first type of female pikey dress is not unlike the male pikey's, addidas tracksuit bottoms (of course about 3 inches above the ankle), sometimes not addidas, but usually, the sporty trainers or if not the "loafers" hard to describe because in a pikey sense they are slightly different but i'm sure you get the picture. Again a nicholson or england polo shirt or usually again FCUK with an addidas or Kappa training jacket or with a white parka, white puffer jacket with the grey furry hood (unfortunately they seem to have dropped the "hoodie and the denim jacket with the hood hanging on the outside of the denim jacket on"), this is of course complimented by the fake burberry scarf. The jewellery is really something, again the large gold chains, with gold crosses usually, and their ears are usually pierced about 10 times, with the largest gold hoops you have ever seen in your life, now these hoops can either be so large you could make animals jump through them, or so thick that the pikey must have industrial strength ears to keep them on their head. The other type of female pikey has the same sort o tops and the same jewellery, but usually has tight jeans, three quarter length, and a pair of beige or black quite flat fabric boots, usually suede effect, or if not an extremely short miniskirt that a normal person would usually describe as a belt. Of course all female pikeys have the same hair and make-up, usually dyed blonde with quite evident black roots (unless they're a true blonde, then they're just very lucky *sarcasm*), all pikey females will have their hair scraped back up into a very tight pony tail towards the top of their head, usually with gel and about 20 hair clips and of course a fake burberry hair tie, in fact the pony tail usually pulls their skin up so they find it quite hard to move their face or make any expression (also known as the pikey face lift). The make-up is a pikey art, foundation, as much foundation as possible in a pikey's opinion, i personally think that they must spread it on with either rollers or paintbrushes, but either way at the end of the day their faces are so alarmingly orange that if you look at them for too long not only will you be beaten up but you may be blinded. In general as much make-up as possible.

Traits: Usually found in groups of at least 10 alongside the male pikeys, usually following the male pikeys in what they do. Usually chewing gum and staring at every person that walks past and giving them "evils" and if you so much as glance at them you get the reply "wot you starin' at?", "you lookin' at me?", "wos your problem?" and if you dare going within 10 feet of one "wot you doin'" or "you breavin on me?". Poular pastimes include smoking, drinking, skiving off school, shoplifting and getting pregnant, most pikeys are mothers by at least 17.

There is so much more i could say about pikeys, but I'd be here all night and it makes me very angry. I hope this helps you in your everyday lives, good luck, the streets are dangerous out there.

also known as:
chavs, townies, rudies, kevs, neds (non educated delinquents), wiggers(those who think they are black), tracky bashers the list goes on
Vicky Pollard from little britain
(though really with the pikey spelling it should be Vikki)

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