A man who loves to drink scotch and smells like a big fat fuck. Marries the first fucking whore lace-ridden with tattoos all over her body who is pushing 40 years old. Bordering on pedophilia (lock up your daughters)

a large folding knife,sometines a switchbladein which
the blade is much longer than the handle so it sticks out
the back when closed!,also called a FOLDING BOWIE.

The primary cause of snoring in men.

When a man lies on his back to sleep, his balls drop over his arsehole, blocking the main south vent and causing vapour lock. The resultant build-up of burps, farts, heavy exhalation fractions, digestive fumes, beer gas, and weed smoke, then has to be vented to atmosphere by alternative means, which requires his gut gremlins to re-route the gases being expelled back through the primary inhalation channel.

Fortunately this is possible because the exhaust gases, being warmer than the incoming air, rise to the upper half of the esophaegus, and the two vapour streams are able to pass each other going opposite directions in the same pipe.

The actual sound of snoring is comprised of millions of tiny gas molecule voices shouting at each other on the way past. The incoming ones are shouting "Oo, poo, you stink," or variations thereof, and the outgoing ones are calling back "fuck you Pinky, you don't know shit and you're gonna get fisted."

Snoring can be avoided completely by the judicious use of a suitable testicle rest which keeps the butthole uncovered and open. Naturally however this means that a man employing such a device tends to fart more in his sleep.

Women don't like us snoring, but they whinge and moan about the alternative as well. This is because they are essentially moaning bitches with penis envy and were born unhappy, but we still love them.

A alpha male who proseeds in putting peanut butter on his nob and slamming it so hard up his arse he screems like a squealing pig.

1. The sound of a whip cracking
2. The sound of a gun being locked

while making out with a girl hold her extremely close, nearly in a head-lock to make sure any interested Jamaicans know to keep their distance

When two guys are at both ends of a lady friend, pig on spit style. Both men hold there hands up to there heads, fingers spread, moose antler like. One looks to the other and says "I am the moose". The other looks and says "No, I am the moose". They both then lock horns, whilst roasting their female friend.