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horoscope 

A bunch of hokey pokey witchcraft made up by hippies.
There goes Madison again, reading her stupid horoscope for the day.
horoscope by Bobby Freakin Hill April 23, 2017

Whoroscope 

A prediction of how many dicks that a thot will please tonight based on her zodiac sign
Hey, Jenny, did you see your whoroscope? Better stock up on birth control!
Whoroscope by Atheistzilla November 12, 2014

horoscope 

My Facebook friends spam my news feed with horoscopes and I just want to punch them in the face
horoscope by Falsifications August 20, 2016

horoscope 

A vague and nonspecific prediction of the future.
What you might find in your horoscope:

"You are somewhat tall"

"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"

What you will not find in your horoscope:

"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."

"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
horoscope by The Definitionizer December 9, 2006

whoroscope 

A prediction of someone's asstrologically influenced future with respect to getting some action from a dirty sloot.
Cdog and D-Tox checked their respective whoroscopes before hitting the town that night... another late night poutine at ESD was written in the stars.
whoroscope by Jizzones April 28, 2004

Horoscope 

Telescope that can only see whores
"A horoscope, what's that a telescope that can only see your face..."
Horoscope by Avocado_ Alien July 16, 2018