|1.||Text Message One Night Stand|
when you meet someone, exchange numbers and sext throughout the night. Then the next day you delete the messages and don't text again. Now its another name in your phone book that makes you look like a whore.
Did you like that guy last night?
Yeah, we had a text message one night stand.
Omg! Girl, you so crazy!
A person who has recently gotten a cell phone or an unlimited texting plan and starts texting everyone in their phonebook. They also participate in every texting chain mail sent to them, thus irritating everyone in their phone book. Can be found texting 24/7. They also advertise this upgrade on social networking sites such myspace
"Omg! I just got a phone with unlimited texting! ::then proceeds to text entire phonebook::
(myspace status) Yo guyz, jus got ma nuw fone!! Txt it up! 5555555555
Friend 1: stop forwarding me chain mail!
Friend 2: omg your such a texting newb
A jack of all trades type of whore.
One that offers her used up body for money & coke.
Sleeps around with married men
Strips and does phone sex to support her coke habit inbetween men
Gets engaged often (more than 5 times)
Has sex with men after the first date no matter the time or place
Denies all allegations of any wrongdoing, including sleeping with random men, making sex tapes & plays the victim.
Teresa: Obviously, there has to be SOMETHING ELSE, its not just name change & arrested.
Danielle: denying this, restating that she was "just arrested"
Teresa: You we're STRIPPING, YOU PROSTITUTION WHORE, YOU WE'RE FUCKING ENGAGED, (slamming the table) 19 TIMES!!!
Teresa: YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH!! (proceeds to flip table).
Teresa: You we're FUCKING A GUY, IN MY HOUSE!!!
Danielle: (denying all allegations) I needed to have a table thrown at me, because I had a book written about me???
The star-nosed platypus looks like any other platypus except for the retarded deformation on its cranium. It is commonly mistaken for an extremely wet and very hairy beaver. The stare-nosed is commonly found frozen in the ice flows of the Antarctic during the Summer Solstices. Do to its alarming abundance of sex chromosomes; the star-nosed has a spectacular stamina of 30 to 40 seconds. They are constantly pestered by there main predator, the goannas (which inhabit the upper regions of South America).more...
The star-nosed platypus was discovered in 1000s of years ago. After consuming too much Smirnoff Zvonimir, an outsider from Australia, managed to roll a one. In order to celebrate he rip a page out of a phone book, burned in a meager bonfire, and dance around it chanting "erect poodles make the greatest gift". Just then a razor-blade soared out of the flames and punctured his left eyeball. Upset by the lost of his favorite ball he began to bash his head into the frigid ice water Antarctica. Once he broke though the first layer of ice he saw something lurking in the water. It was wet, hairy, and disturbing but yet oh so appealing. He thought to himself "i am so glad that i have one ball remaining, i should take advantage of my situation and experience the pleasure of a new organism". Unfortunately, after recent events involving a new breed horse, a ladder, and alarm clock, Zvonimir, the only witness to the existence of that wet and hairy creature, is no longe...
Temporarily reactivating the facebook account that you have long since deactivated and abandoned in order to add and message a girl you recently met in person but whose number you were not able to get.
The Rules and Procedure of Emergency Book:more...
1) The girl must be someone you actually met in real life
2) Reactivate your facebook profile either that night or the day after but DO NOT add her yet. You do not want to come off as desperate.
3) After waiting 1-2 days after reactivation, add the girl.
4) If between the time of reactivating and adding the girl someone writes on your wall "Omg! Looks whose back on fb!!" or any other indication that you have just reactivated...delete it! This is because the key to emergency booking is not letting the girl onto the fact that you are emergency booking.
5) When fb friends with the girl, log onto fbchat. If she is signed on, then chat with her for either one session or more if necessary to build comfort, and then propose to hang out and get her number. Link the request with your initial meeting (i.e. "Hey when we met I was in a hurry but I was gonna see if you wanted to get together some time...")
*Note: If the girl does not partake in fbchat, then do the same thing via messaging, although this may be more drawn out as girls check their messages less often. But DO NOT have the convo on her wall!
6) After securing her phone number, do not deactivate your profile for at least 2-3 days no matter how much you hate God-forsaken Facebook. This is because you do not want the girl to be suspicious that she just got emergency booked.
7) After sufficient time has passed and you've saved pics of the girl onto your hard drive, deactivate.
Van Weezy is a serious syndrome that affects a select few in the USA each year. it is a severe form of assburgers if u start to see any signs of this disease call ur doctor right away becuz itl probly turn u into a condescending asshole symptoms of Van weezy syndrome include:
Making up lies about asian crack whores who say theyl rip ur titties off
u may b able to spit rhymes better but hav no rhythm
be able to SERIOUSLY cut the rug
seeing your yugi oh skills develop to an incredibly high level
wearing a shirt becuz u dnt wana get "sunburn" wen u swim
waking up everyone around u to take a fake phone call at 2 in the morning in the middle of the rainforest
after having an incredible shud b life changing experience all u can think of is the book u read about capitolism and how interesting it was
Person 1: guys my best frend is a crack whore hu fucked me for free!!!
Person 2: Dude wat the fuck ur full of bullshit u totaly hav Van Weezy
|7.||facefuck my bookspace page|
to stalk someone on a social networking site; to constantly check or post status updates on a social network page, to 'like' or comment on every post you see; a form of social dysfunction brought about by communicating solely electronically with society via email, websites/blogs, or text while never having a public or phone conversation. a common practice of people recently married, graduated, or under 40 who use social networking sites to find classmates from grade school just to add them to their 'friends' list.
it is a term with many uses, so it is always containing a description of such behavior, with the term being redundantly extra added uselessness jargon spouted by anti-social vapid sociopaths to describe their own actions when performed by others; usually to make it seem as if everyone does this.
this guy won't stop facefucking my bookspace page- i just met him last week!
that person updates their status from their phone every hour. i swear they do nothing but facefuck their bookspace page all day.
i met this girl online, and i've been trying to meet her but when i call she only responds via text or email. she's probably a nutjob who never meets anyone but facefucks everyone's bookspace page.
i recently saw somebody from high school i barely knew- we weren't even friends but now all he does is facefuck my bookspace page!