The Gamers and the Gangsters... (the minority is composed of bugoys, parents and polititians)
those two tribes isolated each other until the great god Marcos gave them the "human female". the gangsters wanted sex slaves while the gamers wanted goddesses to be worshipped... then the great war started, the gangsters grabbed 80% of the females the god Marcos gave philippines, leaving the gamers only with 20%... the gamers trained the females with the art of DotA, counter-strike and diablo2, then the gamers launched their offensive again the gangsters
in the decisive battle on netopia, the gamer force was defeated by the gangsters application of drugs that turns idiotic retards into frenzied berserkers! massive damage was dealt and the gamer force retreated! then Level-up games released Ragnarok online... the great wave of enlightenment converted a great amount of gangsters and "bugoys" into gamers! the gangsters countered the wave by making people listen to black eyed peas and other rapcrap, but they didnt succeed because a few elite female gamers of the anti-rap police tracked down Colonel General Mr.RapGuy of the gangster army and assassinated him! the gangster army collapsed because those idiots cant breath if they arent listening to music... the gamers left the remaining alone because it is against the gamer code rule #54 "do not pwn the losers, for they shall pwn themselves"... but... that was their undoing... the gangsters took over ABS-CBN and GMA
they used filipino dubbed dragonball anime as propaganda by changing every other word into "gangster". the great plan was a "success", children all over the land... died...
the gangsters were shocked by the results... desparate, they
secured nightclubs, malls and parks.
gamers can no longer go to malls and buy cds, the gamers were pissed. They hijack the phone company and removed all the dial-up connections of the gangsters. the gangsters no longer have a source for their retarded music plus eons of buttsex that gave them various STDs let them to extinction... the country is now free from the plague of hip hop and gamers across the land roam free!
-deadtim, great historian of the philippines
Person 2: Hmmm, how about Philippines?
The Philippines were the death of Magellan. The expedition sighted the island of Samar on March 16, 1521. Magellan was welcomed by two Rajas, Kolambu and Siagu. He named the islands the Archipelago of San Lazaro, erected a cross and claimed the lands for Spain. The friendly Rajas took Magellan to Cebu to meet Raja Humabon. Humabon and 800 Cebuanos were baptized as Christians. Magellan agreed to help Raja Humabon put down Lapu-Lapu, a rebellious datu on the nearby island of Mactan. In a battle between Spanish soldiers and Lapu-Lapu's warriors, Magellan was killed on April 27, 1521.
Disputes over women caused relations between Raja Humabon and the remaining Spaniards to deteriorate. The Cebuanos killed 27 Spaniards in a skirmish and the Spaniards, deciding to resume their explorations, departed Cebu.
For all its losses, the voyage was a huge financial success. The Victoria's 26 ton cargo of cloves sold for 41,000 ducats. This returned the 20,000 ducats the venture had cost plus a 105 percent profit. Four more expeditions followed between 1525 and 1542. The commander of the fourth expedition, Ruy Lopez de Villalobos, named the islands after Philip, heir to the Spanish throne (r. Philip II 1556-1598).
The Philippines was not formally organized as a Spanish colony until 1565 when Philip II appointed Miguel Lopez de Legazpi the first Governor-General. Legazpi selected Manila for the capital of the colony in 1571 because of its fine natural harbour and the rich lands surrounding the city that could supply it with produce.
The Spanish did not develop the trade potential of the Philippine's agricultural or mineral resources. The colony was administered from Mexico and its commerce centered on the galleon trade between Canton and Acapulco in which Manila functioned secondarily as an entrepot. Smaller Chinese junks brought silk and porcelain from Canton to Manila where the cargoes were re-loaded on galleons bound for Acapulco and the Spanish colonies in the Americas. The Chinese goods were paid for in Mexican silver.
Spanish rule had two lasting effects on Philippine society; the near universal conversion of the population to Roman Catholicism and the creation of a landed elite. Although under the direct order of Philip II that the conversion of the Philippines to Christianity was not to be accomplished by force, the monastic orders of the Augustinians, Dominicans, Franciscans, Recollects and Jesuits set to their missionary duties with purpose. Unable to extirpate the indigenous pagan beliefs by coercion and fear, Philippine Catholicism incorporates a deep substrate of native customs and ritual.
While the missionaries spread through the colony to found their parishes and estates in the barangays, the officials of the civil administration preferred to stay in Manila and govern indirectly through the traditional barangay datu or village chief. Although the traditional kinship organization of the barangay had maintained the communal use of land, the Spanish governors brought with them their feudal notions of land tenure with "encomienderos" and subordinate vassals. The traditional village chiefs became a class of landed nobility wielding considerable local authority. The creation of a priviledged landed-holding elite on whom most of the rural population was dependent as landless tenants introduced a class division in Philippine society that has been the perennial source of social discontent and political strife ever since.
In most villages, the priest and the local "principale" or "notable" represented between them Spanish authority. The "friarocracy" of the religious orders and the oligarchy of the landholders were the twin pillars of colonial society whose main interests were in keeping their positions of authority and priviledge.
The Spanish hold on the Philippines first began to weaken in 1762 when the British briefly captured Manila during the Seven Years' War. In support of the British invasion, the long persecuted Chinese merchant community rose in revolt against the Spanish authority. The Treaty of Paris returned Manila to Spain at the end of the War but with increasing diversion of the China trade to Britain and, even more importantly, with an irretrievable loss of prestige and respect in the eyes of its Filipino subjects.
Spain had governed the colony for two hundred years in almost complete isolation from the outside world. The royal monopolies prohibited foreign ships from trading in the Philippines. After the Seven Years' War, in collusion with local merchants and officials, foreign ships and merchants could ever more easily circumvent the monopolies and enter the Philippine trade.
The colonial government had always operated at a financial loss that was sustained by subsidies from the galleon trade with Mexico. Increased competition with foreign traders finally brought the galleon trade with Acapulco to an end in 1815. After its recognition of Mexican independence in 1821, Spain was forced to govern the colony directly from Madrid and to find new sources of revenue to pay for the colonial administration.
1. The Philippines is NOT a messed up country. You think they look down on people of other countries? No, they actually look up to them.
2. If you want to know an unbiased account of what the Philippines is, go to Wikipedia. If you only want to bash the Philippines, be my guest and go add a definition.
3.If you want the real definition for "Philippines" you can actually go there and ask the local people what they think it means.
The Philippines is a country with it's ups and downs just like any other country. So quit bashing specific countries and learn to love 'em.
The Philippines was discovered by Magellan in the late 1500s for King Philop of Spain, until Magellan wore out his welcome in the Philippines and got his ass cut off and died from the natives. The Philippines is really named after the king of Spain, was also colonized by Spain at one time then later it was taken over by the Americans. Then during World War II the Japanese took control. The Philippines is also the only nation in most of Asia to be Chirstain and have a mix of many different types of cultures. The Philippines is also known to be the "Peral of the Orient."
A place I want to visit someday as soon as this War on Terrorism is over.
AND, the pople in the Philippines are very hygenic. Except maybe people living in squatters' area. But it's not often that you visit a country where people take a bath once or twice a day and some even three times. And, they use pails and water rather than tissue paper because it is much CLEANER. Using water is MUCH cleaner rather than using tissue paper becaused more bacteria is left and you cannot clean thoroughly.