While on a dinner date, secretly jerk off into your hand. Wait until the girl gets up to use the bathroom, or distract her in some way. When she's not looking BAM! into her salad/food. Works particularly well if she's having fettuccine alfredo or some similar dish.
I was out to dinner with my girl last night. She got fettuccine alfredo, so when she wasn't looking I pulled a phantom gourmet and threw a fist full of cum in her food. She never figured out why the alfredo sauce was so salty.
by jfox April 21, 2006

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Top Definition
Busybody who always needs to ask where one's lunch has come from, even if it's obvious. Every ingredient must be accounted for.
Zeke: How come you didn't have lunch with us today, Clyde?

Clyde: I got caught by the phantom gourmet. Of course she had to ask me if I'd gotten my burger at Wendy's. I said, "What gave it away? The bag that says 'Wendy's' on it?"
by Krakky McKraken November 12, 2006

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt