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1.
One who suffers from a twisted, perverse love of wiki collaborations. Pinko commies argue that pediaphilia is a mental illness, but it is in fact an intentional, degenerate sin against the Holy Corporation. Contrary to popular opinion, it can affect both men and women, young or old. Signs of pediaphilia include excessive time spent on the Internet, interest in learning, improved writing skills, participation in non-profit activities, and the compulsize need to place brackets around major concepts. Pediaphiles tend to congregate online in places such as Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia, Encyclopedia Dramatica, and Urban Dictionary.

Should you suspect that a loved one is a pediaphile, you must immediately destroy that person's computer and rush him or her to the nearest Walmart. Demonstrate to that person the joy of materialism and capitalism by buying as many items as you can afford. Avoid buying any computers, as they may result in a relapse of the sickness. Be sure to reinforce the concept that all human interactions should involve greed, as we are taught by the Corporation.
The only things on the Internet are viruses, porn, copyright infringement, and pediaphiles. Congress should pass a law against it.
by Eidako February 23, 2006