celf patdown 

The frantically check your pocket for your cellphone before entering a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility, where they are prohibited.

I saw two suits doing a celf patdown before entering the FBI building

celf patdown by Badanderson May 30, 2018

enhanced patdown 

It is a much more invasive pat-down that involves touching, probing, and feeling your body, including your genital area, to determine if you are concealing something.

It is what the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) will do to you if you opt-out of the full body scanner, which takes a naked picture of you, before boarding an airplane.

TSA Agent: "If you won't let me to take a naked picture of you, then I'm going to rub your penis."
Child: "That would be sexual assault."
TSA Agent: "Nonsense, it's just an enhanced patdown. Now spread your legs."

enhanced patdown by OptOut November 18, 2010

Ocular Patdown 

An ocular patdown is a visual threat assessment performed by Ronald MacDonald (Mac) or his cousin, Country Mac.

Mac: I did an ocular patdown on him.
Dennis: What?
Mac: I'm saying I did an ocular assessment of the situation, garnered that he was not a security risk and I cleared him for passage.

Ocular Patdown by Solo Amadeus December 23, 2022

Patterson Patdown 

A man shoving his arm up someones asshole and the person starts clapping real softly.

Dude! look at those two guys doing the Patterson Patdown. He seems like he likes receiving it.

Patterson Patdown by Megatron2530 May 29, 2016

Self patdown

To check one's pockets for cell phone/wallet/keys before jumping in a pool or the ocean.

I always do a self patdown before I jump in the water.

Self patdown by cq29 June 1, 2010

Pakistani Patdown 

When an Indian "off duty, plainclothes police officer" thoroughly examines a small defenseless woman for weapons, explosives and narcotics inside of Bradford public transport.

Bhupinder : Ma'm, please calm down, this is standard procedure. In article 13.50, they refer to it as a "Pakistani Patdown".

Pakistani Patdown by zyklonbjorn April 9, 2021

Two Knuckle Patterson Patdown

Shoving two knuckles deep into someone's asshole. While clapping slowly and softly from both inside and outside.

Dude! Look at that dude. He looks like a professional at doing the Two Knuckle Patterson Patdown . that's crazy insane man

Two Knuckle Patterson Patdown by Goat2530 December 30, 2018