Park Slope Speedball
Pushing Junior around Brooklyn all morning isn't tolerable without my daily dose of the Park Slope Speedball
Park Slope Speedball by Mr. Dyche August 2, 2016
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park slope
Park Slope is an extremely wealthy area in Brooklyn, NY. It's filled with white yuppies and their toddlers and used-to-be hippies and their now stoner teenagers. Teens are always out on the street drinking and smoking, and nobody seems to notice. Despite substance abuse, Park Slope children seem to all be gifted with academic and artistic talents. Many high-schoolers attend well-reputed specialized high schools (Laguardia, Stuy, Brooklyn Tech, Midwood, Murrow) Park Slope kids are part of a very elite, exclusive society, they rarely interact with kids from different neighborhoods. Despite this, Park Slope still draws many incoming families, Manhattanites frequently move to this section of Brooklyn, as it is looked upon as an ideal place to raise children in an urban environment. Park Slope has historic brownstones sloping down from the magnificent park and its avenues are filled with cute (but hightly overpriced)boutiques and such. It's architecture and landscaping are beautiful, making this area very attractive.
park slope teen:
yo after we get back from drama practice lets go to the park and get some tree, after that we can go to my million dollar apartment and when my parents go out we can have the whole neighborhood over and have at least 3 people rushed to the hospital for mixing wrong pills.my parents wont find out, they're too busy with their own affairs to ever relize their kid is fucked up
yo after we get back from drama practice lets go to the park and get some tree, after that we can go to my million dollar apartment and when my parents go out we can have the whole neighborhood over and have at least 3 people rushed to the hospital for mixing wrong pills.my parents wont find out, they're too busy with their own affairs to ever relize their kid is fucked up
park slope by hannah b. September 8, 2005
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Park Slope
Park Slope, Brooklyn, is an otherwise unremarkable residential neighborhood which, historically and up until fairly recently, was home to mostly ethnic-Catholic working class families (Irish, Italian, Puerto Rican). Although many of the white working class families relocated to Staten Island and New Jersey during the "White Flight" of the 1950's and 60's, the neighborhood managed to retain its family-oriented character throughout the 1970's and 80's despite claims by outsiders that the area was "blighted" and in desperate need of "revitalization."
Some time during the late 1980's and 90's, Park Slope wound up as a prototype of "Modern Urban Living" for WASP-ish, hippie-influenced, liberal-arts school graduate, spoiled suburban children of the baby-boomer generation (i.e. "Yuppies"), inspired by television and movies, who envisioned Park Slope's quaint tree-lined streets as a real-life Sesame Street set, perfect to raise children among other like-minded individuals in an urban setting. As one Yuppie describes, the idea of having "chance encounters" on the street with other Yuppie acquaintances identical to herself excited her and influenced her decision to move to Park Slope.
Nowadays, the pre-gentrification families native to Park Slope have almost completely been either priced out or bought out, to be replaced by outsiders willing to pay multiple times the amount of rent for the same apartments simply for the right to say they live in "Park Slope." Those natives still remaining are dismissed by the Yuppie gentrifiers as a breed of "Reverse Redneck": dopey, uneducated, brusque, greasy 'Arthur Fonzarelli' types with thick accents whom are conversely not 'real New Yorkers' such as the Yuppies, but rather regional residents by accident of birth who serve no purpose other than to be Park-Slope-placeholders until more Yuppies arrive from their cul de sac spawning grounds to claim their rightful brownstones.
On a sidenote, heated arguments can often be heard arising between newly arrived gentrifiers as to whether or not one or the other 'really' lives in Park Slope, e.g. Yuppie A: "16th Street is not Park Slope, it's yadda yadda Gowanus Heights Greenwood Terrace etc."; Yuppie B: "Yes it is, the realtor told me!!"
The idea of Park Slope's self-professed "diversity" comes primarily from the mistaken belief most Park Slope Yuppies hold, that voting for Barack Obama and employing a Jamaican nanny shows that they have wholly embraced other cultures. In reality, Park Slope proper consists of almost no permanent residents of color, with the white population rising probably somewhere into the 90+ percentile. To be sure, most Park Slope Yuppies become visibly nervous around young men of color, and avoid them whenever possible.
Visitors to Park Slope can often be heard remarking that there's "nothing but white people here." It is via this behavior that Park Slope, like its big sister, the Upper West Side of Manhattan, is pointed to by many as a prime example of the "Limousine Liberal" phenomenon.
It should be noted that due to the transient and extremely overpriced nature of the neighborhood, there is also a visible absence of elderly residents.
Due to its highly sheltered and isolated character, Park Slope Yuppies have a unique and starkly defined code of behavior. For example, despite the fact that most of Park Slope's gentrifying families and individuals are undoubtedly in the top 5% of the nation's earners, any Upper East Side-esque displays of money, e.g. brand-name or tailored clothing, high-end automobiles, skillfully-applied makeup, etc., will be spurned and garner exaggerated sneers and eye-rolls from the gentrifiers. Instead, the consensus consists of covertly expensive European station wagons (Audi, etc.), ill-fitting pleated denim and corduroy, hiking/rafting sport sandals, etc. Curiously, however, Park Slope Yuppies take great enjoyment in paying upwards of three or four times the normal price for their groceries in pretentiously named, carefully arranged "gourmet markets" offering the same goods as Pathmark or Key Food for a very steep premium.
In their interactions with others, many Park Slope Yuppie men speak in an exaggerated nasal tone and wear dark-framed glasses, in an effort to sound "educated."
Accusations that many, if not most, Park Slope Yuppies' lifestyles are made possible via inheritances, parental funding, etc., quickly trigger vehement denials and anger among the Yuppies, who nevertheless avoid any discussion of how they are able to sustain such exorbitantly expensive yet leisurely lifestyles. When questioned, Park Slope Yuppies typically state their employment as some low-salary, creative or entertainment-themed position, such as "freelance writer," "production assistant," etc.
A study of 7th Avenue, Park Slope proper's main commercial thoroughfare, reveals abundant examples of Park Slope Yuppies in their usual leisure mode, displaying no visible signs of employment or discernible means of financial support. Even at 10:00 AM on a weekday morning, thirty-something year old Park Slope Yuppie women may be observed lolling around with yoga mats or oversized luxury baby strollers, and grown men may be seen in Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers flitting by on skateboards and kick-scooters.
Finally, signs of economic strife, such as the current credit crisis, are mysteriously nowhere to be seen in Park Slope, since financial woes which affect working America do not seem to affect Park Slope Yuppies in any way.
Some time during the late 1980's and 90's, Park Slope wound up as a prototype of "Modern Urban Living" for WASP-ish, hippie-influenced, liberal-arts school graduate, spoiled suburban children of the baby-boomer generation (i.e. "Yuppies"), inspired by television and movies, who envisioned Park Slope's quaint tree-lined streets as a real-life Sesame Street set, perfect to raise children among other like-minded individuals in an urban setting. As one Yuppie describes, the idea of having "chance encounters" on the street with other Yuppie acquaintances identical to herself excited her and influenced her decision to move to Park Slope.
Nowadays, the pre-gentrification families native to Park Slope have almost completely been either priced out or bought out, to be replaced by outsiders willing to pay multiple times the amount of rent for the same apartments simply for the right to say they live in "Park Slope." Those natives still remaining are dismissed by the Yuppie gentrifiers as a breed of "Reverse Redneck": dopey, uneducated, brusque, greasy 'Arthur Fonzarelli' types with thick accents whom are conversely not 'real New Yorkers' such as the Yuppies, but rather regional residents by accident of birth who serve no purpose other than to be Park-Slope-placeholders until more Yuppies arrive from their cul de sac spawning grounds to claim their rightful brownstones.
On a sidenote, heated arguments can often be heard arising between newly arrived gentrifiers as to whether or not one or the other 'really' lives in Park Slope, e.g. Yuppie A: "16th Street is not Park Slope, it's yadda yadda Gowanus Heights Greenwood Terrace etc."; Yuppie B: "Yes it is, the realtor told me!!"
The idea of Park Slope's self-professed "diversity" comes primarily from the mistaken belief most Park Slope Yuppies hold, that voting for Barack Obama and employing a Jamaican nanny shows that they have wholly embraced other cultures. In reality, Park Slope proper consists of almost no permanent residents of color, with the white population rising probably somewhere into the 90+ percentile. To be sure, most Park Slope Yuppies become visibly nervous around young men of color, and avoid them whenever possible.
Visitors to Park Slope can often be heard remarking that there's "nothing but white people here." It is via this behavior that Park Slope, like its big sister, the Upper West Side of Manhattan, is pointed to by many as a prime example of the "Limousine Liberal" phenomenon.
It should be noted that due to the transient and extremely overpriced nature of the neighborhood, there is also a visible absence of elderly residents.
Due to its highly sheltered and isolated character, Park Slope Yuppies have a unique and starkly defined code of behavior. For example, despite the fact that most of Park Slope's gentrifying families and individuals are undoubtedly in the top 5% of the nation's earners, any Upper East Side-esque displays of money, e.g. brand-name or tailored clothing, high-end automobiles, skillfully-applied makeup, etc., will be spurned and garner exaggerated sneers and eye-rolls from the gentrifiers. Instead, the consensus consists of covertly expensive European station wagons (Audi, etc.), ill-fitting pleated denim and corduroy, hiking/rafting sport sandals, etc. Curiously, however, Park Slope Yuppies take great enjoyment in paying upwards of three or four times the normal price for their groceries in pretentiously named, carefully arranged "gourmet markets" offering the same goods as Pathmark or Key Food for a very steep premium.
In their interactions with others, many Park Slope Yuppie men speak in an exaggerated nasal tone and wear dark-framed glasses, in an effort to sound "educated."
Accusations that many, if not most, Park Slope Yuppies' lifestyles are made possible via inheritances, parental funding, etc., quickly trigger vehement denials and anger among the Yuppies, who nevertheless avoid any discussion of how they are able to sustain such exorbitantly expensive yet leisurely lifestyles. When questioned, Park Slope Yuppies typically state their employment as some low-salary, creative or entertainment-themed position, such as "freelance writer," "production assistant," etc.
A study of 7th Avenue, Park Slope proper's main commercial thoroughfare, reveals abundant examples of Park Slope Yuppies in their usual leisure mode, displaying no visible signs of employment or discernible means of financial support. Even at 10:00 AM on a weekday morning, thirty-something year old Park Slope Yuppie women may be observed lolling around with yoga mats or oversized luxury baby strollers, and grown men may be seen in Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers flitting by on skateboards and kick-scooters.
Finally, signs of economic strife, such as the current credit crisis, are mysteriously nowhere to be seen in Park Slope, since financial woes which affect working America do not seem to affect Park Slope Yuppies in any way.
Park Slope Yuppies have a reputation for displaying an acute lack of common sense and social skills around others:
Yuppie Transplant Overheard in Seventh Avenue Post Office:
"Hey, excuse me, what's the zip code for Connecticut?"
Post Office Worker: "There's a lot of zip codes for Connecticut, you need to check where you're sending to."
Yuppie Transplant: *rolls eyes* "Pff, yeah thanks a lot."
Yuppie Transplant Overheard in Seventh Avenue Post Office:
"Hey, excuse me, what's the zip code for Connecticut?"
Post Office Worker: "There's a lot of zip codes for Connecticut, you need to check where you're sending to."
Yuppie Transplant: *rolls eyes* "Pff, yeah thanks a lot."
Park Slope by Kato Kaelin January 9, 2009
Parkstone Grammar School
A hell for saken place where girls are sent to school. known to be a place for rebellious girls who are taught by sadist teachers who need to get lives led by what can only be described as an elephant.
Girl 1: did you see her! she looked like trouble
Girl 2 : did she have a short skirt?
Girl 1: Yeah!
Girl 2: Well Thats Parkstone Grammar School For You!
Girl 2 : did she have a short skirt?
Girl 1: Yeah!
Girl 2: Well Thats Parkstone Grammar School For You!
Parkstone Grammar School by theworldfreakshow. April 19, 2010
Darkslope_
Darkslope_ by Darkslope_ May 13, 2022
Park Slope
(Two Park Slope Yuppie mothers discuss their children in yoga class at the YMCA)
Yuppie Mother #1: This morning I asked my son what a hipster was!
Yuppie Mother #2: Do you mean those low-rise underwear?
Yuppie Mother #1: That's what I thought, but when I asked him he logged onto his Facebook account and showed me pictures of him and his friends.
Yuppie Mother#2: Well, do you know what a hipster is now?
Yuppie Mother #1: Not completely, but I do understand that they all wear ironic T-shirts under flannels. Oh, and they all flaunt their ironic facial hair.
Yuppie Mother #2: You sound like you are describing the homeless man who lives next to my brownstone.
Yuppie Mother#1: Oh, I've got it now! A hipster is just an ironic hobo!
Yuppie Mother #1: This morning I asked my son what a hipster was!
Yuppie Mother #2: Do you mean those low-rise underwear?
Yuppie Mother #1: That's what I thought, but when I asked him he logged onto his Facebook account and showed me pictures of him and his friends.
Yuppie Mother#2: Well, do you know what a hipster is now?
Yuppie Mother #1: Not completely, but I do understand that they all wear ironic T-shirts under flannels. Oh, and they all flaunt their ironic facial hair.
Yuppie Mother #2: You sound like you are describing the homeless man who lives next to my brownstone.
Yuppie Mother#1: Oh, I've got it now! A hipster is just an ironic hobo!
Park Slope by MadGrudes May 21, 2010
the parascope
n. a penis trick, while in a hot tub descretely remove your penis from your swimwear, then slowly raise your body until the tip of the penis has breached the surface to the surprise of the other hot tub residence.
Dude you are so gay! i can't believe you just did the parascope without warning me first.
Oh my god, we were in the hot tub with my parents and my boyfriend actually did the parascope!
Oh my god, we were in the hot tub with my parents and my boyfriend actually did the parascope!
the parascope by MB DUB February 22, 2006