Astronaut's Prayer

First uttered by the first American in space: Alan B. Shepard.

Although it can vary from person to person, it goes something along the lines of:

"Dear God, Please don't let me fuck up"

"The final exam is about to start! Better recite the astronaut's prayer one last time."

Astronaut's Prayer by Skiparay December 17, 2009

Prayer Marination 

A period of time when people commune together in prayer and worship and are immersed in the activity.

God definitely healed me at UnChapel after all that prayer marination last night.

Prayer Marination by sebkh3192 September 25, 2012

Worship and Prayers 

The excuse to use when someone asks what does wap mean

Person 1: ¨What does WAP mean¨
Person 2: ¨It means Worship and Prayers¨
Person 1: ¨Oh, ok¨

Worship and Prayers by nanceshipper xoxo October 5, 2020

The Beer's Prayer 

Our Lager,

Which art in barrels

Hallowed be thy drink.

Thy will be drunk,

I will be drunk,

At home as in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head

and forgive us our spillages

as we forgive those that spill against us

and lead us not into incarceration.

But deliver us from hang-overs,

for thine is the beer,

The bitter and the lager

forever and ever

Barmen!

I sit down and pray The Beer's Prayer before I go out every night.

The Beer's Prayer by BCOOK March 3, 2010

Pimp's Prayer 

A prayer said before striking a trifling bitch or hoe who has stepped out of line.

Let us Pray the Pimp's Prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Lord, so that she might learn a hoe's place.

Amen

Pimp's Prayer by Fuzzybat23 January 17, 2006

Farts and Prayers 

Giving a non-denominational fart and prayer in tribute to a fallen subjects memory. A far more tangible take on the often and overall useless but nevertheless used 'thoughts and prayers.'

Goofus: Dawwwg! Remember that bitch Bernice from high school who's dog died in 9-11? I ran into the bitch at my daughters school bake sale and I was all of a sudden so overcome with muthafuckin' emotion from her struggle to overcome that loss that my bowels overtook my heart and I farted in front of her and then dropped to one knee and said a hail mary in remembrance to fido. Just one because dogs are not equal to people but enough to not let his loss not be in vain. I think its from all that Amy Grant i've been listening to lately B. Anyways, Farts and Prayers.

Gallant: You are such an insensitive and insufferable prick!

Farts and Prayers by Queef_Quackenbush_Jr October 17, 2020

serenity prayer 

Dear God, please grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Sometimes when no one else is listening, I recite the serenity prayer to myself and remember that God is always listening.

serenity prayer by yyuryyubicuryy4me June 17, 2018