| 1. | Pants at a time like this? | ||
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When one has concerns bigger than the relationship between their bottoms and their bottom wears. Dude, can you put your pants on already?! I find it strange I have to ask twice...
...Pants at a time like this?!! |
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| 2. | Septic | ||
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To become intoxicated to the extent that a person can no longer stand up and their words are poorly enunciated. Usually a time like this a person would be making a serious fool of themselves, or be involved in something they will seriously regret tomorrow morning. Tom: Jesus boy u were quite septic last night!
Henry: I Know, I dont really want to hear about it. Tom: Remember when you got stuck in the cubical with that ugly fat bird you were shifting all night? Henry: What? Oh God! Tom: Ha Ha, you septic fool! Don't you remember!? you had your pants down at your ankles at the time making many attempts to pull them back up but gravity wasn't your friend last night!! Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha! |
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| 3. | goth | ||
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A goth is just a person, usually one who appreciates both the "positive" and "negative", the "yin" and "yang", "good" and "evil" aspects of life. Usually goths believe that there's nothing in this world that can be completely spelled out in black and white. Usually goths tend to wear black clothing, ornate with metal, but also often enjoy interspersing it with bright colours. A lot of goths dye their hair or have piercings, or wear lots of makeup... which is more an artistic outlet than anything. I guess goths just focus on the dark side of things, because to do so is to be on sort of the "other side" of most of society, which they do enjoy, regardless of what they say. Often goths shop at the hot topic, which doesn't automatically define one as a poseur. Nor does it make someone gothic to shop there. Gothic music doesn't make much of a presence in society these days, though darkwave/industrial/synthpop/black,death metal are often mistaken for "gothic" music. Music that is actually gothic? Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, The Cure, etc. These bands are listened to by many people who are not gothic, and no one at the time really labelled it as such. Gothics are just members of an almost completely undefined subculture. Gothics are generally good, benevolent, empathetic, artistic, intelligent, well-read people.
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There is the odd asshole, but the same can be said for every group. Gothics almost always can appreciate all kinds of music. Many gothics enjoy list... |
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| 4. | fart | ||
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1. 1-man salute
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2. 7.4 on the Rectum scale 3. Acid-rain maker 4. After the thunder comes the rain 5. Air bagel 6. Airbrush your boxers 7. Anal acoustics 8. Anal ahem 9. Anal audio 10. Anal salute 11. Anal volcano 12. Arse blast 13. Ass blaster 14. Ass-scented methane 15. Ass biscuit 16. Ass thunder 17. Ass whistle 18. A turd whistling for the right of way 19. Backdoor breeze 20. Backfire 21. Bad sprinkling 22. Baking brownies 23. Barking spiders 24. Bean blower 25. Beep your horn 26. Belch from behind 27. Better open a window 28. Blast off 29. Blast the chair 30. Blasting the ass trumpet 31. Blat 32. Blow ass 33. Blow mud 34. Blow the big brown horn 35. Blowing the butt bugle 36. Blowing you a kiss 37. Bomber 38. Bottom blast 39. Bottom burp 40. Break the sound barrier without a plane 41. Break wind 42. Breath of fresh air 43. Brown horn brass choir 44. Brown thunder 45. Bun shaker 46. Burnin' rubber 47. Buster 48. Busting ass 49. Butt bleat 50. Butt burp 51. Butt hair harmony 52. Butt percussion 53. Butt trauma 54. Butt trumpet 55. Butt tuba 56. Buttock bassoon 57. Cheek flapper 58. Cheesin' 59. Colonic calliope 60. Crack a rat 61. Crack one off 62. Crack splitters 63. Crimp off some breakfast biscuits 64. Crop dusting (surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust) 65. ... |
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| 5. | shit | ||
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1. One of the most popular swear/cuss/curse words/profanities
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2. another word Feces. Poop. Dookie. Scheisse. Poo Poo. Brownies. The Shit List: The Ghost Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl. The Clean Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper. The Wet Shit You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks. The Second Wave Shit This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more. The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke. The Corn Shit No explanation necessary. The Lincoln Log Shit The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush. The Nororius Drinker Shit The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush. The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is ... |
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| 6. | Rumplestilskin | ||
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A rumblestilskin is the worst type of fart for not only the potency in which it smells, but how loud it sounds. Named after a gay fairy tale about an ugly fucken dwarf who teaches this bitch to string straw to gold, this word should be feared by all. It can be accompanied by a shit stain in the underwear, that cannot be removed by bleech. When you enter a public area and fart while standing still it will take only 3 seconds for it to reach the person beside you or for you to smell your own brew, and by that time the person beside you would have already ran away as it sounds like fog horn that can literally stop 200 loud people at a wedding, or at a Rammstein concert. When walking and farting one out, it will have less sound, but trail your fart for about 7 or 8 meters than disapate. Long term rumplestilskins can lead to having no friends, the death of a relative, or family pet. You may find dead birds outside your house, and that all your neighbors have moved away. Loosing your job is also very common. Eventually you'll commit suicide. (Cabbage boy):"People can't stop running away from me, and think I shit my pants all the time."
(friend at a distance):"Well you smell like the tarry nutty Pepto Bismal laced shits I spray into the toilet after I eat four jars of chunky Skippy, and drink 18 cans of Pepsi. You need to see a Gastrologist." (Cabbage Boy):"I did and he told me I need a colonoscopy next week. Its so bad that I needed to use tomato juice on my Jockey Sport briefs, and a new pair of Levi's. (friend at a distance):"Sounds to me like you have a bad case of rumplestilskin." |
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| 7. | chuck norris | ||
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better than god and jesus put together Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Sho... |
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