Well, you see, the fat that protruds from the well-known pancake meat was designed by geneticist Dr. Roberto Sally. Sally was a very white man with a very unmanly last name. Try as he might to woo women with some toosh, all he could get were the flat bottoms of gay men..and Sally the geneticist was no experimenter. Through a series of slightly tragic, yet still amusing events, his non-governmental experiment to change his last name failed, producing a mutant virus that caused anybody who ate pancake meat to become living pancake asses.
Thankfully, I Am Legend Two was not needed to be filmed because only the isolated Mormans of Utah were used for testing, and with their new pancake asses they were only inspired to become even more fruitful and started shitting pomegranate everywhere. Eventually, due to the high amount of salt in their drinking water down by Salt Lake city and such an incredible amount of diarrhea going on, the population died out and the Catholics, again, rejoiced.
Meanwhile, Dr. Roberto Sally continues his quest to get laid.
The pancake asses of Utah shat. Everywhere.