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one upper 

An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.
Person: I got to meet James Hetfield before the concert and I got his autograph.
One Upper: Yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.

Person: I have a a dislocated knee.
One Upper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.
one upper by Dawn Davenport December 1, 2004
Word of the Day on September 7, 2009
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One-upper 

A one-upper who always has to be bigger or better than you. If your uncle has 20 ft. boat, his uncle or cousin has 21 ft. boat. A one-upper never loses in the world of story-telling.
Chris is a nice guy, but he's a big one-upper. He always follows my stories with a better one!
One-upper by MAP08 August 2, 2007
Word of the Day on December 8, 2007

one-upper 

If you have had a bad day, a one-upper has had the absolute worst day of their entire life and possibly the worst in recorded history. If you met a hot guy on vacation, the one-upper banged Brad Pitt on vacation. If your brother bought you a really cool new CD for your birthday, the one-upper’s brother is God. The one-upper is the most obnoxious and hateable person you have ever met, but they are probably proud that they have one-upped everyone else you ever thought you hated.
I found twenty dollars in the street the other day and I was feeling pretty lucky, until that accursed one-upper told everybody that on that very day he discovered Donald Trump was his uncle. God, I hate that guy.
one-upper by Megsi February 23, 2008

story interruptor one-upper adder-toer

A person that interrupts you mid-story. But then not only interrupts your story, they feel the need to one-up your story with an even better story of their own. And to top it off, they not only interrupt you in the first place, one-up you with their story, they then feel the need to add to your original story they interuppted.
I was in class the other day talking about how my dad went to Haiti to help the earthquake victims, and before I could even finish Frank interrupted me and said his dad not only flew to Haiti to help the victims, but that he also donated a million dollars to the relief act. He went on to say that his dad told him my dad was down there but wasn't actually doing anything to help. That fucking Frank is such a story interruptor one-upper adder-toer!

One Upper 

That person who has to be better at everything. Even when they shouldn't want to.
"I remember once as a child I accidentally killed a squirrel."
"Aww that's nothin' bro. I used to kill animals all the time."
"Really?! What the hell is wrong with you freak?
"Oh you think you're disgusted in me? You should see how disgusted I am at me!"

A One Upper
One Upper by GroceryClerk March 2, 2016

one-upper 

A one-upper is someone who always has to be bigger and better than everyone else. If you say you are drunk, they exclaim with how much more they have drank than you.
Although Matt may seem mediocre, he is actually a one-upper; He must always top your story with one of his own.
one-upper by Drew Workman January 3, 2008

Pathological One-upper 

One-upping to such a degree, involving, caused by, or of the nature of a mental disease, where an upper is incapable of ever stopping and must refute any up of a fellow upper, even if the up makes no logical sense at all.
Regular One-upper: Dude, i bought a Jaguar last week. It's sick.
Pathological One-upper: Nice. I got an Aston a few days ago...
Regular One-upper: My Dad's getting a Bugatti Veyron today!
Pathological One-upper: That's nothing. For that much money you won't even get an apartment in my building. I have six.
Pathological One-upper by Wannaapppp! September 11, 2012