| 1. | Ripstonker | ||
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A ripstonker is a very loud and extremely noxious passage of gases from the rectum (otherwise known as a fart). These are often heard (and smelt) around the chairs and communal areas in old folks' homes. Old Mary left the house one day, without her special pill,
and after many hours on foot, she was feeling rather ill. See, Mary had a tummy ache, which caused her excess gas, And on the bus, a giant ripsnort, exits from her ass! The noxious fumes embraced the people, be them old or young, And you could even taste the gases, laid flat upon your tongue. So now you ask, a ripstonker? What on earth is that? It's the biggest fart, with the baddest smell where that little old lady once sat!!! |
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| 2. | Flatulence | ||
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The act of emitting noxious gases from one's anus. Also known as farting, blowing one, cutting the cheese, pull my finger, and specialized terms like sbd--silent but deadly and crop dusting, which is when one travels around a room or building, letting off small freeps and generally polluting the area. Flatulence is often accompanied by sports activities like fart flaming, and dutch oven, where one person farts and then shoves the other person's head under the covers. This reprehensible habit is cause for justifiable murder in Alabama. (see Alabama Barking Spider Rudolph had a lifelong problem with flatulence; well, that isn't QUITE true, his family had the problem. He was blissfully unaware of the angry stares as he crop dusted the office as he strolled off to the water cooler, or his second wife's suit for divorce that included dutch over as grounds of cruelty. It wasn't until he had the bright idea of lighting farts with an acetylene torch that Rudolph got what was coming to him.
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| 3. | Methane Man | ||
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A male person who is renowned for polluting the air with liberal amounts of methane and other noxious gases via his anus. A guy who farts a lot. Oh God ! Get out of here guys, here comes Methane Man.
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| 4. | Dutch Oven | ||
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The action of trapping an unsuspecting person in a place which you have released a deadly fart cloud. This "place" can be under the bed covers, in a sleeping bag, in a locked car, in a closet, or any place that will trap the cloud allowing maximum fumage. On our camping trip, Joe Bob gave me a dutch oven by farting into my sleeping bag and zipping me up in it. I survived to tell the story.
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| 5. | Steggles Fart | ||
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When you go to Kentucky Fried Chicken and purchase an aptly titled 'Deluxe Dippin' Meal', and end up with enough grease in your system to sink the Titanic. Subsequently, you expel noxious gases into the atmosphere the equivalent of a Sarin gas attack. "We'd just knocked over a KFC Deluxe Dippin Meal when Matt ripped off the world's ultimate Steggles Fart - so we had to evacuate the restaurant"
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| 6. | Exploding Horny Teenager | ||
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A prepubescent male who undergoes a combustion process, due to excessive accumulated semen and noxious gases (such as methane). Studies show that holding in a fart while having blue balls causes such a phenomena to occur.
Person A: Holy shit, look at that girl's ass!
Person B: ::Explodes:: Did you hear that after Tommy held a fart in all day, Susan came over and he exploded? He was one exploding horny teenager! |
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| 7. | snortin the sofa | ||
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Snorting the sofa is what happens when you plop your ass down on someone’s couch and the couch farts back at you with the stench of all the fart gas that has accumulated in it. The people that own it are used to their own pew and don't even notice the stink as they continue to contribute to the buildup of methane and other noxious gases within its bowels. Jesus H. Christ, I sat on Dwane's couch and gagged when it shot back at me with a chouch fart. I just wanted to share a beer and ended up stoned after snortin the sofa. That fucking thing must be flammable.
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