|50.||Not A Boyfriend|
Usually referred to as a NAB.
Pronounced: knob, as in doorknob
Def: the title you give the male you are in a relationship with after the dating stage, but prior to giving him the actual name of “boyfriend.” Usually this person will attend events, go to family functions and act in a boyfriendly manner but does not have the title.
Krista: So whats up with the new guy?
Jill: Oh, he is just a NAB (Not A Boyfriend).
Krista: what, not good enough?
Jill: He is just a little nerdy, I enjoy letting him buy me stuff but I don’t know if he will make it to the boyfriend stage.
|51.||Not A Relationship|
Usually referred to as a NAR.
Pronounced: gnar as in the first half of gnarly
Def: When 2 people are seeing one another on a regular basis for a lengthy amount of time they usually can be give the title. This couple will act as if they are in a relationship, but will not call each other “boyfriend/girlfriend,” but may use pet names such as “honey, baby, snookums, ect”
This word can be used up to the extreme of 2 people cohabitating for many years, having kids, mixing bank accounts; at this point it would be referred as a Not A Marriage.
Patrick: Ruby and Zeph are always together, they are hanging out all the time. I think he is taking her to Thanksgiving dinner!
Sheena: So are they an item?
Patrick: No, its just a NAR (Not A Relationship)! I asked them about it last night.
|52.||Not A Girlfriend|
Usually referred to as a NAG.
Def: the title you give the female you are in a relationship with after the dating stage, but prior to giving her the actual name of “girlfriend.” Usually this person will attend events, go to family functions and act in a girlfriendly manner but not have the title.
This word can also be used on the opposite sex as a not a boyfriend.
Eric: have you seen how much JP and Kristina are hanging out? I think he really likes her!
Kelley: No way, she wont make it out of the NAG (not a girlfriend) stage for awhile.
Eric: yeah all the benefits, but you can still be single.
Kelley: Yeah, that’s the life.
The act of using social networks, particularly micro messaging service twitter, to find potential mates. Examples of twitter dating are public messages with an extraordinary number of emoticons, inside jokes between users who may or may not have had sex and the tag #twitterdating.
Ben and Melissa were twitter dating so hard last night, he may have an opportunity to fuck her tonight IRL.
Range of ages relative to one's own that it is acceptable (not creepy) to date. Usually:
- Lower limit = (your age / 2) + 7
- Higher limit = (your age - 7) * 2
- Man, she's too young.
- No way, I'm 26, she's 20, just within my dating range!
- So was that woman at 38.
- Yeah I am more MILF oriented now.
|55.||Ten Commandments of Dating|
1. Thou shalt not date friends of friends
2. Thou shalt not ask someone out over the internet, unless it is absolutely necessary
3. Thou shalt not break up with thy partner over the phone or internet, in any case.
4. Thou shalt not make plans for the future, unless thou plans to fulfill them
5. Thou shalt not send mixed messages and signals
6. Thou shalt not cheat on thy partner.
7. Thou shall reject activities involving a name as an adjective
8. Thou shalt not use fecal matter in romantic ways
9. Thou shall be a dick for up to 6 hours after a break up. after this time, thou shalt not hold grudges.
10. Thou shall change the lingus, if thou is unsatisfied
Translation of the Ten Commandments of Dating
1. dont date your friend's friends. it gets awkward
2. its pretty tactless and impersonal
3. Really? a break up shouldnt be sprung on someone in an indirect way
4. Dont give false hope, it's unappreciated
5. Mislead people become confused people. confused people become ANGRY people.
6. infidelity is a dick move
7. (ie. cleveland steamer) DONT DO IT
8. poo and intimacy. its just wrong. back off fecalphiliacs.
9. get all the emotions out, move on. no holds barred.
10. Anna, Donna, Connor. the three lingus friends. figure it out, choose one.
a date-like activity or activities (i.e. movies, dinner) performed by a guy and a girl together, who have no interest in each other and no intent to date. These activities are performed strictly as friends, although these not-dates can be segues into the awkward phase before actual dating commences.
For other people, distinguishing between a date and a not-date is difficult, if not impossible. Thus, those who are on a not-date are often confused by other people that they are dating or vice versa.
In the base metaphor, a not-date is the equivalent of sitting in the bleachers and watching the game.
Ryan: "So then Claire and I went to dinner and then watched a movie at my place."
Jake: "All right! So did you hit that?"
Ryan: "Hell no. It was a not-date."
(at a restaurant)
Waiter: "Okay, you're total's going to be $23.44."
Jimmy: "Can you make those two separate orders?"
Waiter: "Sorry about that, I thought that you were on a date."
Jimmy: "No, we're friends. This is a not-date."