|1.||platonic man love|
1. a non homosexual, yet still affectionate, relationship between men.
2. a type of relationship to be celebrated by society (although the non-platonic version should be celebrated to a greater extent).
1. "You bought a widescreen T.V. for football night?!? Dude, I love you!" (often followed by a manly hug)
2. "I saw Brad and Mike hugging each other and got super excited because I thought they were together. Too bad it just turned out to be platonic man love..."
The platonic idea of love is non-physical, so there’s a natural irony in this kind of thing. The word platonic with the word blowjob is automatically an oxymoron. So, the platonic blowjob is a particular kind of act between two people who claim to be friends yet are sexually dependant on one and other (either by desire or sudden necessity). In other words, it’s a kind of booty call where one sucks the cock of the other to save or strengthen the friendship.
Amy: What do you think are the political ramifications of China switching to nuclear power?
Mj: Hey, Amy, I’m sorry but I’m too horny too listen. I think I’m going to have to booty call my ex or hit on that pig drinking by herself over by the pool table.
Amy: No, don’t leave me alone.
Well, then what?
I have an idea! I’ll give you a platonic blowjob!
(Amy drops to her knees in front of MJ mphhhphh mphph mphphphhphhhhhh)
Ah, thanks. I think that China modernizing to all nuclear reactors will have a profound impact on the price of oil. It will drop . . .
(an example of a friendship saved by the Platonic Blowjob)
John: Are you dating Amy?
MJ: No, I like drinking with her.
John: Aha. She's been giving you platonic blowjobs, hasn't she? What a pig!
An act of fellatio given as a non-sexual reward for accomplishing a difficult task. The reason for fellatio rather than a material reward stems from the absolute truth that fellatio is awesome. It is generally reserved for monumental feats of accomplishment - ex. landing a major client account in record time, where the potential client was leaning away from ones firm.
This blowjob is non-sexual. No attraction need (or should) exist between the giver and receiver. Receipt or gift of a PBJ is not considered homosexual if given between males, but ONLY if the PBJ is given for a legitimately monumental achievement.
Jerry: I landed the VCorp account overnight - and they were even thinking of going with the other guys!
Rob: Jerry, that's amazing. We've had sales team after sales team tell us that account was impossible! And I just assigned it to you three days ago! Tell you what, meet me in my office. You've earned a Platonic Blowjob!
Alice: Tim, I can't believe you were able to complete the entire backup automation in two hours. It even tags changes and encrypts everything! Tomorrow morning, I'll see you in your cube for a PBJ.
The act of exchanging sexual acts for tangible goods within a non-platonic relationship.
Mary would not have sexual relations ("dignified prostitution") with John until he gave her the new Louis Vuitton Mirabeau GM.
|5.||Platonic Boob Licking|
The act of licking another person's boob in a way that is non-sexual, often done in a "truth or dare" scenario.
E.g. I dare you to engage in platonic boob licking with her
- the dissolution of a non-sexual, non-romantic relationship; usually the dissolution of a friendship
Platonic divorces are rarely hostile and normally occur when friends drift apart either on purpose or by chance.
Platonic divorces between women are often irreversible and can never return to the 'pre-divorce' state.
Platonic divorces between men are more easily reversed. It only takes a phone call saying, "Hey bud, I got a case of beer. You wanna come over to watch the game and get hammered man??"
Currently, platonic divorces between a man and a woman are completely irreverible.
e.g. After Gwen moved to Vancouver and stopped sending even Christmas cards, she and Maria platonically divorced.
e.g. Greg platonically divorced Jane after not being invited to her wedding.
e.g. I think Lara and I will get a platonic divorce if neither of us call within the next couple months.
The grey area in between taking the plunge into a committed relationship and platonic friendship. Often due to indecision on the part of one or more parties involved.
Symptoms might include, holding hands, non-committal sex, spending an inordinate amount of time together, flirting on text messages.
"Sam and Jane have been having this non-relationship for months now, they need to decide whether or not they are going out or not."