|260.||ninja fucking unicorn|
boy who has a large pimple on his ear that is like the rainbow, and has 2 small polka dots on the inside on them. this pimple dangles down to his balls. they make his balls smell like dirty spider webs. that are like the rainbow :) and when you run into a wall you turn into a ninja but can change to the colors of its soroundings and when you hit some one they turn pink and puff away into a booby. and if some one happens to take you to the hospital just say, a panda bit my nose off. and then give them the evil hamster in your pocket and say its a gift from budah, and then on your way home be sure to ride your elephant to Target for a box of tampons so you can give his boyfriend a dirty qujuan and then run off to your mexican lover in japan.to save him frooooooom godzilla!!!!!!!!!!
boy: man my pimple just grows by the minute!
girl: omg! was that a panda that just bit your nose!?
boy: ahhh take me to the hospital!
girl: did you give the nice man your evil hamster you got from budha?
boy: ya but i cant find my elephant......
girl: well you bes get yer lazy ass up an find it cuz i got a suprise for you.
boy: okay i found it.
boy: eww what the fuck wass that?!
girl: thatd be a dirty qujuan well i gotta go and save my mexican lover in japan from godzilla now
boys lover: godzilla no!!!!!
girl and mexican lover: nooo dont eat us!!!!!
boy: hahaha damn that sucks.
BAM a ninja fucking unicorn was born
Someone who is so caring and sweet and will do anything to see you. He's someone that will take care of you. Someone who lets you be free but protects you. He's someone that will text you long messages, that'll call you, someone who'll most definitely entertain you. He'll make you laugh, when you're mad. He'll make you mad when you're happy. He's that type of guy that isn't perfect, but still has that "perfection" in him to say he's close to being perfect. He's someone that'll stop the world with his hugs. The way he just grasps onto you; you can feel the sparks. He's got something special that got my vibes always feeling him. Sometimes I can't stand him, but at the end of the day, when I'm laying down .. it's always him that's the last thing on my mind. I love spending time with him. He knows every tickle spot, he knows every way to get my heart beating faster and he knows every way to gimme the butterflies. He's a really good boyfriend and ANY girl would be lucky as hell to have him. He's someone who's willing to fight. I just have no idea how long he'll fight for, there's always a day when he's just going to give up and I'm going to give up and bam; strangers. I would never take the chance to become strangers with him. Windham is my best friend. I can tell him anything no matter how hard I fail at sugar coating some things. I love being with him. I don't want to ever lose you. I don't know when you're ever going to read this but if you do come across this. Hi.more...
When a girl poops and there is still a piece stuck inside so she fingers her vagina to urge the nugget the rest of the way out of her ass.
Jane wiped her ass a million times but couldn't get that last little turd out, so she tried toothpasting herself and BAM, no more dingle berries.
|263.||Foster The People|
The best band created, formed by the three sexiest men alive (in no particular order) Mark Foster, Mark Pontius (Ponci) and Cubbie Fink. Every time they play a song, a fan girl's ovaries explode. And that's okay. That's very okay. One day God wanted perfection, and BAM there was perfection. During live performances Isom Innis and Sean Cimino perform with them. Isom likes to bang the maracas in the most beautiful way.
"Foster The People made my ovaries explode during their live stream last night" "Oh, totally. I don't think I'll ever be the same after that Foster The People performance."
The best story teller there is and will ever be! a janifer is a big ball of randomness and entertainment. if you cant find entertainment talking to a janifer you should shoot yourself. a janifer is one of the funniest people around no matter what shes talking about she finds something funny about it. janifer is obsessed with texting on android phones so watch out! janifer is a pretty damn funny drunk. janifer hates the taste of southern comfort. janifer is also an avid panty freezer so watchout! janifer is all around AMAZING. BAM
holy shit where are my pantys?
Janifer got to them.
Dimari can be defined as a beautiful female with a overgrown penis in their pants. Nobody messes with dimari or she'll slap hoes with her business! A dimari loves Tumblr! And lastly a Dimari can give the best advice..on how to give a blowjob.
Girl 1: hey have have you seen dimari around
Girl 2: no i havent and hope i dont i heard she wants to slap me with her---
Dimari: Fucken Hoe
A phrase made popular by Barney Stinson in the TV show How I Met Your Mother, it either
1) Attempts to make a ridiculous story more believable
2) Indicates agreement over a silly or politically incorrect comment that the speaker agrees with.
1) Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is dead", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.
2) Person 1: Yellow lights just mean 'go faster.'
Person 2: True story.