Top Definition

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."

"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 03, 2005
A guy who doesn't pretend to be your friend just to get in your pants. Doesn't objectify and mistreat the women that he can actually get interested in him thinking once day he'll end up with his hot friend . Gross. Never.
Any guy who calls himself a nice guy. If you have to say it, you aren't one.
by Getoutofjere March 28, 2015
Somebody with an IQ of 350. He is very smart, but girls reject him because they only date dumb jocks. He is interested in philosophy, psychology, and theoretical math, along with mechanical dynamics. He is usually the overweight, slightly uncoordinated, 15 year old at UC Berkeley who is so perfect, kind, meaning well, and has never made a mistake, ever.
With his 5.0 GPA and dual major in theoretical electrophysics and eastern philosophy at the tender age of seven, Paul is a nice guy and is doomed to be a virgin till death.
by yuvalhaim December 06, 2013
The male counterpart to the neighborhood whore. Where the neighborhood whore trades sex hoping for companionship and rarely gets it, he trades companionship for sex and rarely gets it.

Alot of women see nice guys as closet misogynist and stalkers. That's really just because after getting used by women as doormats they start hating women, similar to how the neighborhood whore becomes a lesbian in the near future.
The US government needs to pay pimps to run rehabilitation centers for nice guys.
by Ricardo69RMC March 14, 2011
A demographic composed of wonderful, misunderstood people, but only when looking from inside their own heads. In reality, they're a collection of mass shooters and Internet trolls.
You do realize that no one except you thinks you're a nice guy right?

If you have to tell someone you're a nice guy, you're doing something wrong.
by Tommy Sawyer 123 June 09, 2016
A fuckboy twat who thinks he deserves the attention and affection of a female because he thought acting like an obsessive 'agony-aunt' friend will get him laid.
"But I'm a nice guy!" Snorted Larry, a pimple on his cheek bursting puss onto his World Of Warcraft T-Shirt. "I'm sorry," Replied Sandra, "I just don't have any feelings for you; I respect yours, but I must also respect my own."
by Moosbutt June 02, 2016
A male who claims to be nothing but nice and compassionate towards women and as a result feels he deserves acknowledgment from females but never gets any because in reality he is actually a douchebag for thinking that he is owed something just for being respectful and nice. That's called being a fucking decent human being, dummies, and no one owes you shit for that.
This guy thinks he's going to get some ass just because he's nice to me sometimes. What a stereotypical nice guy.
by amateurleader July 06, 2014
Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×